Collateral Damage

Quoth Reuters: "Middle-schoolers who sport alcohol-branded T-shirts and caps may start to drink sooner than their peers, according to a new study. The findings, researchers point out, are similar to those of studies from the 1990s that linked cigarette-branded merchandise to a greater risk of adolescent smoking. It's uncertain whether clothes or bags with beer logos encourage some kids to start drinking."

I'm not sure but I think kids were drinking before the advent of clothes or bags with beer logos. Just saying …
BTW, we have applied a similar idea in our family and that's why EVERY SINGLE PIECE of CollateralDamage Jr's wardrobe has The Ramone's logo on it. Gabba, Gabba & Hey, attorneys at law. 

"Yes, I know we have made tactical errors, thousands of them," Condoleeza Rice answering a question over whether lessons had been learned since the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq.

Last I checked the count was over 2,300 of them on the US side alone.

Not to be outdone …
"We're very concerned that people are spending their hard-earned money on something that doesn't provide the level of protection that the Army requires people to wear. So they're, frankly, wasting their money on substandard stuff," US Army Col. Thomas Spoehr announcing the Army’s decision to ban privately purchased body armor.

Well, if you'd provide them with armor than we — and I speak as part of a family that faced this decision — WOULDN'T HAVE TO.

Poophead. 

Courtney "Please go away, please" Love says she will not let her late husband's song "Smells Like Teen Spirit" be used in a soap commercial. Yes, that would be a travesty for a song whose tag line started out as the tag line in a deodorant ad. Ms. Love who is famously short of cash has sold  a 25 percent stake in the Nirvana song book to Larry Mestel, the former COO of Virgin Records and current head of Primary Wave Music Publishing, reports Rolling Stone. "We're going to remain very tasteful," the shy and understated Ms. Love told the magazine.

Headlines of the day:

Creamer Ready to Rise in Kraft Nabisco … has something to do with golf or baking or both.
Three 6 Mafia recording with Paris Hilton … notice how they carefully avoid the phrase “perform with.”

Cash those frequent flyer miles in now: Delta has fired and will not replace its CMO. Buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy flight.

Stretching the definition of provocative to new lengths: "If you could have a beer with anyone, who would it be? Renowned filmmaker Spike Lee has teamed up with the beer industry to ask adult beer drinkers this provocative question." — From a brewski industry release touting its new "grassroots campaign to elevate the image of beer."

OK, how many of you said Bill Wilson and Dr. Robert Smith? 

This effort will focus on (and God I wish I could have made this up):

• Reminding consumers of the social value of beer — it brings people together in an unpretentious way. Around urinals.
  
• Romancing the product and the art of brewing — reinforcing beer's refreshment, all-natural ingredients and the beauty of its liquid. Splashing around urinals
  
• Encouraging consumers to view beer differently — giving them new ways to enjoy beer … on their way to the urinals.

11-year-old sues company for ruining his brand, er, name.

Hari Bhanot, 11, of India is suing the job search site Naukri.com over a TV ad. Quoth the AP

In the offending ad, a man makes a dinner reservation for his obviously obnoxious boss, named Hari Sadu, by saying: "That's H for Hitler, A for Arrogant, R for Rascal and I for … Idiot."

The ad ends with the line: "Guess who's just heard from us."

But Mr. Bhanot says ever since the spots started running his classmates have been calling him Hitler. The family says it asked the company to stop running the ads. The company declined, but did send a box of chocolates. That’s when Mr. Bhanot’s father decided to sue for $225,000. Memo to the Naukri.com management: Next time send better chocolates.

BTW, it’s Constantine von Hoffman™.

Spam Cube has hit the big time — it got reviewed in today's NYTimes. My guess is this will catch the attention of the folks at Hormel and get them to send that cease-and-desist letter about using their trademark. Or it won't and the folks at Spam Cube will get the last laugh on me.

Thieves yesterday stole more than 10,000 jars of L'Oreal RevitaLift face cream from a factory in  France. The AP reports that burglars pulled up a truck and stole the merchandise in two separate locations of the factory in Besancon, France.

Major League Baseball, which has banned Pete Rose from the hall of fame for gambling, has no problems encouraging it in others. Thus we have the new game from the Massachusetts State Lottery called The Red Sox Instant Ticket. The state is hoping the sight of the Red Sox logo will be enough to forget everything you ever learned about math and drop $5 for the scratch ticket. Y'know, no one has ever lost money betting against the intelligence of your average Sox fan, said this average Sox fan.

Bostonist reports that Bay Staters "spend an average of $681 per person yearly on lottery games, ahead of every other state by some $250." Coincidentally, $681 is also what it costs a family of four to attend a Red Sox game. While there are some money prizes, the grand prize is lifetime season tickets. The losers get DVDs of the Bucky "Bleepin" Dent game.

This is indeed the first time that MLB has let a team logo be used for gambling. I hope they start to co-brand with some of the other vices as well. Here's to Cubs Crack, coming soon to a street corner near you.

What would happen if you put three pounds of marshmallows in the microwave, set in on high and cooked for three minutes? You'd get marshmallow fluff, but you wouldn't get Marshmallow Fluff™ which is the trademark of Durkee-Mower Inc. If you put peanut butter and either Fluff™ or fluff together you would get a classic, at least here in New England, called Fluffernutter. If you tried to package that further and sell it as a candy you would get sued. Which is just what happened to food concept retailer Williams Sonoma. According to the Boston Globe, Durkee-Mower has sued WS and demanded it "stop selling tins of a candy bar called the Fluffernutter, a name 86-year-old Durkee-Mower trademarked in 1961." The Globe reports that Don Durkee, the company's 80-year-old president, is truly amused that the words Fluffernutter and "intellectual property" are appearing together in any context. You go, Don!

 There is nothing the sweatiest man in IT won't do for MS. From an interview in Fortune: 

Do you have an iPod?

No, I do not. Nor do my children. My children–in many dimensions they're as poorly behaved as many other children, but at least on this dimension I've got my kids brainwashed: You don't use Google, and you don't use an iPod.
 

Apparently the limit of George W. Bush's legendary loyalty to the people who work for him lies around 37%. As in his current approval ratings according to one poll. So to try and change things, W. canned long-time chief of staff, former secretary of transportation and Bay State native Andrew Card for Joshua "Don't call me Michael" Bolten who, it seems, is no relation to our current ambassador to the UN. I will miss Andy who thought the start of the still the on-going George W. Bush Desert Classic was mishandled, at least in PR terms: “From a marketing point of view, you don’t introduce new products in August.”

My only question: Did George use the classic "we-ve-decided-to-go-in-a-different-direction" line when firing him?

Let the House of Cards jokes begin… 

The great Polish SF writer was 84. While he will probably be best known as the person who wrote Solaris, the basis for an interesting if very slow Russian SF movie and the recent Soderbergh & Clooney remake, I think of him as author of The Cyberiad — one of the funniest books I've ever read.

You wouldn't want it in your eyes but it's good for your nose? Capsaicin, the incredibly active ingredient that makes both pepper spray and great chili disabling, is being touted as the next great thing for … allergies. Yup, one spritz of Sinus Buster Pepper Nasal Spray "Equalizes Springtime Allergies." In an incredibly artfully worded press release, SiCap industries almost alleges their product …

… is spelling true relief for millions of allergy sufferers.

… may prove to be the answer to every allergy sufferer’s prayers.

… has built an impeccable reputation with thousands of physicians around the world.

… [has] an excellent reputation for relieving chronic sinus conditions and headaches.

… grabbed the attention of some major medical researchers due to the
overwhelming body of anecdotal evidence both from patients and
physicians.

… is presently involved in several new
clinical trials concerning various sinus and headache treatments.

… wakes you up faster than a strong cup of morning java.

It's probably an excellent floor wax and dessert topping, too.

Next must see movie of the year: "Farce of the Penguins" — the story of "one penguin's search for love while on a 70-mile (112-km) trek with his libidinous buddies on their way to a hedonistic mating ritual." Written by the incredibly filthy mouthed/minded Bob Saget — if that strikes you as a strange description of him then you haven't seen The Aristocats.

The juggernaut of free PR for Aussie tourism continues: "And here I am, in the Australian parliament building at what I think is something like four o'clock in the morning in the UK. And so I'm thinking, so where the bloody hell am I?" — Brit PM Tony Blair (motto: What am I Still In Office?).

But apparently there is too much of a good thing for the Aussies. Ad-rag has an entry quoting from a story in the Sydney Morning Herald about what it takes for the Aussies to give someone else free press: A comedy writer has been forced to take down an online spoof of the controversial "where the bloody hell are you" TV ad after legal threats. Dan
Ilic, 24, produced a parody of the ad, changing the jingle to "Where
the f—ing hell are you?" and inserting negative images of Australian life.

Who knew I looked this good? Last year I was a movie and now I'm a band. And much more attractive than Keanu Reeves.

FWIW: I got one of their songs, Young Lions, from iTunes. It's pretty damn good. Not enough steel guitar for my taste — but you can never have enough steel guitar for my taste.

Barry Landreth, a business professor who taught real estate finance and
development at the University of Southern California was arrested Friday on charges of swindling students and others in a real estate fraud. An FBI affidavit said Landreth stole at least $1.5 million in the first 10 months of 2005, telling students and other investors he would buy land in Chicago and Las Vegas and then
sell it for large profits. Instead, he transferred all the money into his personal account without buying the land.

Will this be on the final?

If found guilty he will be sentenced to six years of having to sit through presentations for time-share deals in Florida.