When eel bashing is outlawed, only outlaws will bash eels.

The town of Lyme Regis in southern England has had to end its annual “conger cuddling” contest after an animal rights activist complained that it was demeaning to dead animals. The contest, in which two teams stand on wooden blocks and take turns to knock their opponents off by swinging a five-foot dead eel on a rope at them, has been held for 32 years as a fundraiser for the Royal National Lifeboat Institution. Best quote: “Worm-charming championships, hare-pie-throwing contests and flounder trampling continue unabashed.”