Headline of the Day: “Swiss Aim to Save National Sausage”

When erectile dysfunction strikes an entire nation…

A joint “task force cervelat” composed of scientists, bureaucrats and industry representatives has been convened to tackle the crisis caused by a shortfall in Brazilian cows’ intestines used to encase the nation’s favorite sausage, the Swiss meat association said.

That must be a great resume item.

And in a related story, a German company has unveiled a pill to “improve first-person shooter performance.”

FpsBrain is the only effective product with a 110% money-back guarantee. Clinical research and expert knowledge made it possible to develop an effective neural accelerator.

Yep, performance enhancing drugs have come to video gamers. Either that or the Germans are taking euphemism to a whole new level.