Facebook causes crimes, cops & cancer

It’s Facebook’s world — we only live in it. Police officers in Bradenton, FL, said a 19-year-old man snatched a Starbucks customers laptop after being told he could not use it to check his Facebook account. Scottish police departments are now vetting recruits via Facebook, et al., instead of the traditional F2F interviews. Previously recruits [...]

Alcohol-enforcement official faces career-ending irony

A member of the city commission responsible for enforcing liquor laws was arrested early Thursday on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol. Danny Kim, 33, was arrested shortly after 2 a.m. Thursday at Kilauea and Makapu’u avenues near Kapi’olani Community College. Kim, one of five members of the Honolulu Liquor Commission, was booked [...]

Ninjas — not pirates — sent to fight tourism slump

Nine ninjas have been sent to Honolulu to lure visitors from Japan. No, I am not making this up. The stealthy killers were hired by Hawaii Tourism Japan and come from Iga City, a castle town in Japan which apparently specializes in all things related to the ninja art. Officials said it was the first [...]

Ten sayings from Zen master Pogo

A possum must be himself, and being himself he is honest. There’s no easy quick way out, we’re gonna have to live through our whole lives, win, lose, or draw. Sometimes I don’t always follow you and sometimes I’m not that lucky. Twenty Percent of Zero is Better than Nothing. Romeo wasn’t bilked in a [...]

Blackwater security kills brand name

Blackwater Worldwide — the “security” firm known for its employees shooting at least a dozen Iraqi civilians — is trying to rebrand away its notoriety. It will henceforth be known as Xe. That’s pronounced zee, as in “zee idiots in marketing thought of it.” Blackwater president Gary Jackson said in a memo to employees the [...]

How broken is the banking system?

My latest from over at BlownMortgage: The most important number not included in Mr. Geithner’s bailout plan has nothing to do with who gets how much. That is all just fine-tuning and clearly not a number Geithner & Co. have figured out yet. (Why release a plan before you have figured that out? I dunno [...]

Life imitates Monty Python as website uses blackmail for business plan

YoBusted.com works like this: Alleged friends post embarassing pictures of you on the site (said pictures frequently found on Facebook, MySpace, et al.). If you want said picture removed you have to become a member of the site ($20/month or $50/year). Give the site credit: It spreads the rewards around. The person who posts the [...]

CSPAN sit-com: Wall St. CEOs defend bailout $ to Congress

Even as I write this Congress is doing the shooting fish in a barrel thing with the CEOs of Goldman, JPMorgan, Morgan Stanley and Citi. Go here to watch them squirm. Featuring the ever-understated Rep. Barney Frank as ringmaster. Congress is as guilty as the CEOs but Lord this is fun to watch.

Job site trumpets finding work in Afghanistan

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when the following showed up in some spam from TheLadders.com Hired! Interview Prep Leads to Work in Afghanistan Construction foreman lands job in Afghanistan due to experience in Iraq and TheLadders interview prep service. When you’re looking for work in a war zone, it helps to do [...]

A moment of silence for one of the greats … Blossom Dearie

(And yes, that’s the real name: Marguerite Blossom Dearie.) You may not think you know her but a lot of us grew up listening to her beautiful voice on Schoolhouse Rock!. Her ethereal singing on “Figure Eight” was as close to the sublime as TV got in the 1970s. The only thing better than her [...]

How much should someone be paid to bankrupt a company? A shopper’s guide

“It’s in the best interests of taxpayers to have Jamie Dimon running J.P. Morgan. They should want to have the best people out there running these banks, and I’m not sure capping pay is the way to do that.” – Jeffrey Immelt, CEO of GE, on President Barack Obama’s proposal to cap pay for executives. [...]

NJ high court says rats are protected by 1st Amendment

It’s stories like this that make journalism worthwhile. In a case that pitted an International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers union local against a central Jersey town, the high court ruled unanimously that the rodent is protected speech under the First Amendment. This should come as particularly good news to… Rod Blagojevich Bernie Madoff Tom Daschle [...]

Politician denies he told the truth when he called it a “depression

In the weekly question and answer session in parliament, [UK Prime Minister Gordon] Brown said there needed to be agreement “as a world on a monetary and fiscal stimulus that will take the world out of depression.” Brown’s spin doctors immediately said it was a slip of the tongue by the PM. I think his [...]

A moment of silence for one of the greats … Millard Fuller

A millionaire by the time he was 30, Millard Fuller gave up his fortune and invested his life in Habitat for Humanity — a Christian charity that has built more than 300,000 houses and turned poor people into homeowners by using “sweat equity” and no-interest loans. Some have criticized President Obama’s $500,000 cap on executive [...]

Beanie Babie maker ends rip-off of Obama daughter names

“Marvelous Malia” and “Sweet Sasha” have been renamed “Marvelous Mariah” and “Sweet Sydney” following Magnificent Michelle’s slap down. Despite the absolute absurdity of it, Chief Executive Ty Warner continues to claim the very-tan-skinned dolls and their names had nothing to do with the president’s daughters. Quick! Someone find a bank for this man to run.