Collateral Damage

According to an article the attempted naming was by a Chinese couple. Now word on if officials accepted the “@” name. But earlier this year the government announced a ban on names using Arabic numerals, foreign languages and symbols that do not belong to Chinese minority languages.

Usually I am opposed to the brutal, authoritarian Chinese government but in this case I’m making an exception.

BTW, there’s a great list of what they call that thing in other languages here. “In Mainland China it is quan a (圈a), meaning “circular a” or hua a (花a, lacy a).”

And did you know that you can’t name a category “@” on wordpress? Now you do.

Quoth Reuters: Preschoolers preferred the taste of burgers and fries when they came in McDonald’s wrappers over the same food in plain wrapping, U.S. researchers said, suggesting fast-food marketing reaches the very young.

No! Really?

This is news only to those who haven’t raised a kid in the US in the last 75 years. Even your idiot blogger has figured it out.

• From Sierra Magazine — Branding Baby’s Brain: If you want to mold a hyperconsumer you’ve got to start early
• From Brandweek — ‘Adult’ Brands Get Parents Where The Kids Are
• From Boston Magazine — An Expose of “The Baby-Industrial Complex”

That $19.25M they were supposed to get? Turns out that:

1. The jurors guesstimated the amount based on what they think the lawyers charged.
2. The judge — not the jury — gets to decide what, if any, lawyer fees can be awarded.
3. The original judge thought it would be a cold day in … well you know … before P&G collected even if they proved the case.

The Satan Desk at Brandweek has the full details here.

Next time you’re in Omaha, Nebraska, take a quick stop by the corner of 129th & Q. There you will see the first location of Terror Free Oil, a new company that promises to only sell “Oil that does not come from the Middle East (Persian Gulf) or other countries whose regimes and/or populations are hostile towards the United States and its allies.” Which basically means the US and Canada, unless the Canadians get uppity. (Why do I think that for most of us the phrase “terror free gas” means it sells for less than $2 a gallon?)

Should you not have the fortune of living in Omaha but still wish to avoid terrifying gas, the TFEC maintains a list of oil companies that it believes only buy domestic dead dinosaur. These include Hess, Sunoco and a wonderful brand that I didn’t even realize was still with us: Sinclair.

I’m not sure exactly how you discern the provenance of petroleum. Does the 2007 Alaskan Sweet Crude really taste different than the same vintage from the Mid East? The TFEC itself admits that it can be difficult to make sure all their gas is devoid of corruption: “Oil is a fungible commodity, and gasoline from the international community gets mixed into the pipeline.” That said they do buy all their gas from Sinclair which the Dept. of Energy says only uses home brew.

Doing some driving abroad and want to top off with Good Guy Gas? In Brazil it’s safe to use Petrobras. Oddly, Yukos has also received the TFEC seal of Clean Living. Are we talking about the same Yukos that the Russian government basically took over? I don’t mean to speak ill of an ethnic group I’m descended from, but if Yukos isn’t paying off terrorists and mobsters to do business then they are the only such business in The Motherland.

Also, if this seems like an incredible business opportunity TFEC is offering the most reasonable franchise opportunities I’ve ever seen. Franchise fee: $1. In addition to only selling Good Guy Gas, franchisees must donate 1% of revenues to a counter-terrorism organization. Dibs on the CIA!

I feel safer already.

A commission of coca industry representatives, advising an assembly rewriting Bolivia’s constitution, have passed a resolution calling on the beverage giant to take “Coca” out of its name.

… who is portrayed by buckskin-clad students who dance at football and basketball games and other athletic events.

And somewhere someone thinks that somehow all those casinos make up for any of this. I still don’t know how anyone can play for the NFL’s Washington’s D.C. team or how newspapers or TV networks can use its name.

On Thursday, two students who portray Illiniwek filed suit seeking to bar the university from “capitulating to the NCAA by announcing the retirement of Chief Illiniwek.”

One quick guess as to which group neither one of these fine human beings is descended from?

Car companies must think that just because their sales are depressed everyone else is too. Why else do they keep trying to get people to off themselves? First it was GM with its beyond-tactless robot-jumping-from-the-bridge spot:

Then the irrepressible Germans decided to get in on the act and VW, via agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky, decided to follow suit with a customer having to be coaxed off the ledge because … well it has something to do with selling cars. Click here to view their addition to what we can only hope will be a short-lived genre.

Note to all you creative types — There are a select few folks who can make death funny. Top of my list: Richard Pryor, Bobcat Goldthwait, DJ Hazard, Terry Pratchett, Mel Brooks. I’ve probably missed a few, but even so I guarantee your name is not on that list. Keep that in mind.

BENNINGTON, Vt. (AP) — Eager to combat drunken driving during the holidays, police are distributing pint glasses embossed with the logo of the Bennington Police Department to bars and restaurants.

The campaign is the brainchild of Lt. Paul Doucette. Dear Lt., don’t give up your day job.

An example of how the target audience will respond to this can be found across the border in neighboring New Hampshire. There “police said they tried pulling over Patrick Allain, 35, on Bridge Street on Monday night but he refused to stop. Officials said that when police finally did stop Allain, they found him drinking a 40-ounce bottle of beer, which he continued to drink as officers confronted him.“

Hard to imagine a police logo getting noticed, let alone discouraging consumers this dedicated to the product.

And I thought naming them Espn was bad. Well it is, but you get my point. Joining young Ad and Ree on the playgrounds of the UK will be an increasing number of Gandalfs, Superman(s?) and Madonnas. What no Swooshes?

Technorati Tags: Adidas, Reebok, Nike, Gandalf, Superman, Swoosh, Branding, ESPN

PUTNAM, Conn. - Two armed thugs tried to rob a line of people waiting for the new Playstation 3 game system to go on sale early Friday and shot a man who refused to give up his money, authorities said. … In Kentucky, four people were hit by BBs in an apparent drive-by shooting as they waited for a Best Buy store to open.

And here in Boston:

Nearly a dozen police cruisers responded to Copley Place Mall this morning when a crowd of 400 people clamoring for the new Sony PlayStation 3 overwhelmed mall security.

Isn’t “mall security” an oxymoron? Or is it just staffed by them?

Technorati Tags: Playstation, Madness, Brand, Loyalty, Violence, Games

The Shanghai Daily news reports that a condom seller has been closed down for selling products in “inappropriate packages,” including ones bearing a likeness of Mao Zedong. (Suggested slogan: “Hey baby, want to come back to my place for a great leap forward?”) The condoms were packaged in metal containers decorated with funny pictures historical figures. According to the story, “Zhang printed China’s national emblem on a condom called ‘lady-killers’, and on the packing of the box was the image of … the country’s late Chairman Mao Zedong.” The vendor used what is perhaps the only plausible excuse in neo-capitalist China: “They were unimaginably hot sellers.”
Meanwhile another Chinese entrepreneur has is trying to register Yao Ming’s name for use on a line of women’s sanitary products. Oddly, neither doctors nor brand experts have been able to find any connection between the 7 foot 5 inch tall basketball star and menses.

Technorati Tags: Mao, Condom, China, Shanghai, Yao, Ming, Marketing, Brand, Xinhua

Apparently Nike and Starbucks have sucked up all the marketing expertise in the Northwest US. The complete inability to find a qualified marketing professional is the only explanation I have for both the recently canceled Washington state tourism slogan of “SayWA” and the newly unveiled and soon to be canceled Seattle tourism slogan, “Metronatural.” Best quote from the story:

“How do you use that in a sentence? ‘Welcome to Metronatural.’ … It’s an airport where you can buy organic bananas.” — Seattle street cart vendor Kenny Telasco.

Y’know guys, you might want to ask Mr. Telasco for a few pointers next week when you’re looking for Metronatural’s replacement The Seattle Convention & Visitor’s Bureau launched this turkey over the weekend after taking 16 months and spending $200K to come up with it. While I have not yet determined the name of the agency behind this slogan, I would not be surprised to find out if it was an arm of Haliburton.

Wait … actual reporting at work … from Metronatural.com (hard to believe that domain wasn’t already in use):

SCVB led Seattle’s brand development initiative over the course of more than year, drawing critical input and support from a broad-based steering committee comprised of representatives from the City of Seattle, Port of Seattle, local hotels, airlines, attractions, restaurants, cultural organizations, SCVB members and many other travel industry stakeholders. Seattle-based branding and advertising firm EXCLAIM served as the creative partner and introduced the metronatural logo and brand concept.

If Metronatural was the winner, I’d love to see the losers. Key question: What the hell was in the coffee they were drinking when they OK’d this one?

OK, so I like most journalists have always dreamed about being Paris bureau chief for some publication — even if you are not only the chief, but also everyone else in the tribe. (It’s always been a curiosity to me that in US journalism DC is a better posting — from a career standpoint — than Paris. Having spent large chunks of time in DC I can honestly say that if you want to live there you probably have a mental illness.) Well even better than Paris, where you would be in danger of having to actually do some reporting, is being chief of a virtual bureau where I guess you only have to report Virtual News. And all of you who say Fox News has been doing this for a while should really come up with more original jokes.

Starting on Wednesday, Reuters plans to begin publishing text, photo and video news from the outside world for Second Life members and news of Second Life for real world readers who visit a Reuters news site. Adam Pasick, a Reuters’ media correspondent based in London, will serve as the news organization’s first virtual bureau chief, using a personal avatar, or animated character, called “Adam Reuters,” in keeping with the game’s naming system. “As strange as it might seem, it’s not that different from being a reporter in the real world,” Pasick said. “Once you get used to it — it becomes very much like the job I have been doing for years.”

And in keeping with another tradition of journalism, next month he will be replaced by a younger, perkier avatar with more cleavage.

Cross? Heck, he was furious. And he wasn’t alone.

The restaurant in Mumbai, India, opened a week ago using posters of the Fuehrer and Nazi swastikas for publicity. After being blasted by the Germans, all four of India’s Jews and the Israelis, the eatery today agreed to change its name. Under consideration: Benito’s Bistro, Mao’s Munchies and Stallin’s Steaks.

“We acknowledge that the name adopted by us for our restaurant was most inappropriate,” Satish Sabhlok, one of the owners of the multi-cuisine restaurant, said in a statement. “Our intention was not to glorify Hitler or his atrocities or ideology in any way and we regret the anguish caused by the use of this name.”

Ahh, the old stupidity defense. Hard for me to believe it, though. I think Satish just figured out that Hitler is about as unappetizing a name as you can come up with.

1. That must be some good beer: Ronald Zimmerman was charged with first-degree robbery, second-degree criminal possession of a weapon and first-degree criminal use of a firearm after an argument over who should get the last beer. When Zimmerman and Terell Martin could not agree on who this Bud actually was for, Zimmerman pulled a handgun on Martin and went through his pockets, taking cash and a cell phone, police said. I have not yet been able to ascertain the brand of the beer in question but is this not an ad that writes itself? Except that the two guys will be played by women in bikinis.
2. And some good shoes… A person was shot in the foot during a riot at a shoe sale in Karabuk, Turkey. The incident occurred after people overloaded a two-story retailer that was selling pairs of shoes for as little as $6.  Y’know I have many friends who wouldn’t  think twice over shooting someone at a shoe sale. And for Manolo’s murder would not be out of the question.