When ketchup is outlawed, only outlaws will have ketchup

Basha High School in Chandler, AZ, has a strict policy against BYOK, at least BYO Bottled K. One student was disciplined after being caught with a ketchup bottle two days in a row. And the school has called the parents of several others found with the contraband.

The students are smuggling in the K because the school cafeteria limits students to three packets of ketchup per burger. You can get extra packets, but they cost 25 cents each and you can bring your own packets. But bottles are right out. The packet containment is part of the school’s effort to crack down on students stomping on them and squirting the red goo on sidewalks and hallways. “But bottled ketchup is banned because the school said it would be a health code violation.” You don’t even want to know what happens if you’re caught with organic ketchup. Is there now a black market in the red stuff?

I gotta say my high school record would actually have been improved by an entry reading “Suspended for bringing ketchup to school.” But at my high school (the incredibly appropriately named Hope High School in Providence) folks tended to smuggle in things like drugs. And guns. Actually those were all pretty out in the open. I think the real smuggling was around text books. You really didn’t want to be caught with one of those.


3 thoughts on “When ketchup is outlawed, only outlaws will have ketchup

  1. Kids only get 3 packets because they use the other packets to spray walls and other kids by stepping on the packets… But they can buy additional packets for $.25 each. Now, where else can you have THAT much fun for 25 cents?

    When I was a kid, spit-balls cost a nickel and wedgies were a whole dollar.

  2. I posted this article on my site too. The solution is to have ketchup dispensers at the cafeteria line and forget about packets. The problem is, many of our school administrators have never worked or lived in the real world and their ideas of solving problems are just as bizzare as the antics of the students they are trying to smack down.

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