Sardines, a possum & a drag queen: A list of things cities are dropping to celebrate the New Year

Thanks to the Boston Globe, we now know that the following towns will lower the following items at and/or around Midnight Sunday:

  • Eastport, ME: A sardine at 12 PM EST and a maple leaf at 12 PM AST, for its Canadian neighbors. I think they should split the difference and lower a sardine soaked in maple syrup at 11:30 PM EST.
  • Lebanon, PA: A 10-foot long, 150 lb. bologna. What is it they’re compensating for?
  • Atlanta: 800 lb. fibreglass peach. Zzzzzz.
  • Brassville, NC: A live possum. People for the Ethical Treatment of Pogo plan to protest.
  • Key West, FL: A conch shell, a live pirate wench, and a drag queen named Sushi in a huge red high-heeled show. Mrs. Collateral D. disappointedly noted that these were three separate lowerings. Why they couldn’t make a shoe big enough for all three is beyond us.
  • Tempe, AZ: Tortilla chip into a jar of salsa. And none of that damn New York salsa, either.
  • Havre de Grace, MD: Wood duck with feathers represented by colored Christmas lights. Extra points for originality.
  • Shippensburg, PA: An anchor.
  • Port Clinton, OH: A walleye fish.
  • Miami: An orange.
  • Washington, D.C.: Expectations.
  • Detroit: The crime rate.

Oooops, my bad. The last two are fictitious.
And, as I have mentioned brother Pogo already, let us end the year with one of his sublime quotes: “Sometimes I don’t always follow you and sometimes I’m not that lucky.”


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