Sex toys and food — are these really products you want to share with your dog?

Someone must thinks so.

Cases in point:

  1. “Is your dog in heat and humping anything it can wrap its horny little legs around? Are you constantly having to pry your promiscuous pooch off the legs of guests, parents and members of your church? Protect your leg from a hump attack by getting Scruffy a Hotdoll.” Yes, there’s a picture of the thankfully-still-theoretical product.
  2. Worried about all that tainted pet food out there? How’s about being your dog’s food tester? Yes, thanks to celebrity oddity Dick van Patten (nice hat) you can open one can for both of you. His new Eatables line of pet foods comes in Irish Stew, Chinese Take-out with Sauce, Hobo Chili, Southern Style Dumplin’s with Gravy. Coming soon: Spaghetti with Beef in Meat Sauce. And if you don’t like it, you can give it to a poor person! (FYI, I love dogs. When we got our last dog, Bear, I was so happy I cried. BUT PLEASE do not treat your pets better than your fellow human. And don’t treat your fellow humans as badly as many people treat animals.)

2 thoughts on “Sex toys and food — are these really products you want to share with your dog?

  1. Your FYI is an excellent sentiment.

    And I did try my cat’s food once (when I was a teenager). I mean, with that ocean whitefish and tiny shrimps, it looked so good! It was, actually. Obviously, that was long before I became a vegetarian and subsituted my diet with rabbit food instead of cat food.

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