Virginia followed Maryland’s lead into the land of inane government restrictions yesterday when State Delegate Lionel Spruill introduced a bill to ban displaying replicas of human genitalia on vehicles, calling it a safety issue because it could distract other drivers.
Loyal readers will of course recall that it was nearly a year ago that a Maryland legislator introduced a similar measure. Surprisingly, it never got out of committee.
A key piece of information for Delegate Spruill: They are bull testicles, not human testicles which could make for an interesting defense in court.
“Your honor we ask that you dismiss the charges on the grounds that the testicles the defendant was displaying were clearly not those of a human.”
The folks at BumperNuts, YourNutz & BullsBalls and the other companies in the trailer hitch bull testicle industry must be ecstatic over the free PR. (YourNutz bills itself as “Your Source For The Original Car Nutz Bull Balls Truck Nuts on the Net!” Must make a great T-shirt. Not to be outdone, BullsBalls offers “testes-monials” from satisfied customers.)
Perhaps the best part of the story is where Spruill explains why he decided to tackle this issue. The idea came from a constituent who was embarrassed when his young daughter spotted said thing and asked him to explain it.
QUOTE OF THE DAY: “I said, ‘Sir, I’m going to be a laughingstock, but I’m going to do it,'” Spruill explained.
No doubt if the constituent had been embarrassed by trying to explain something like oh, homelessness or educational inequality, Delegate Spruill would have been just as fast to jump into action.
UPDATE: Got a great comment (below) from one Greg Phelps. This is someone who knows from decorating cars. See more pics of this car and its successor by clicking here.
Collateral Damage 
On my first artcar, I glued a bunch of action figures into a giant orgy on the hood. I was always worried that someone would realize what was going on and end up with a citation. I want to have a dozen of these balls lining my rear bumper!!
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