The latest word in banana protection technology … no, that’s not a euphemism

bananaFirst there was the hard-case banana protector and now – the inflatable version. I’ve always thought bananas came pre-protected. Isn’t that what the peel is for? I’m always puzzled when I see people in the grocery store putting bananas into a plastic bag. What does that accomplish? Nor do I understand the squeamishness over a bruised banana. The bruised part is still edible, FYI. Has anyone created a coconut protector yet? There are certainly enough other fruit protectors on the market. The same company that makes this waste of plastic also makes “various designs of inflatables perfectly suited to apples, oranges and all kinds of round fruit.” ORANGES? What, pray tell, are we protecting them from?

Just because you can make it doesn’t make it a good idea…

  1. A banana guard. Why rely on the perfectly good biodegradable carrying case created by thousands of years of evolution when you can buy something MADE OUT OF PLASTIC??? A mere $7 will you forever protect you from the heartbreak of bruised bananas. Or are you just glad to see me?
  2. A military theme park. A Florida developer thought a park that let visitors “command the latest M-1 tank” and “feel the rush of a paratrooper freefall” would be just the thing. The Army begged to differ: “That proposal … was dead on arrival, and will be dead on arrival if resubmitted,” said Keith Eastin, the Army’s assistant secretary for installations and environment. Too bad, I was so looking forward to The Notify The Next Of Kin ride.
  3. The personalized ketchup label. Yep, I want a bottle of Heinz with my name on it. I’ll pay extra for that by golly.