Dumb St. Patrick’s Day-related marketing moves

Yesterday I wrote of Spam Cube and its attempt to get some PR out of the Green Day. That is as nothing compared to “Globat.comĀ®, the world-leader in Performance Web Hosting(TM)”, and what has to be the oddest tie-in with what we around here call amateur day. Under the headline, “Globat.com Sponsors St. Patrick’s Day Gynecological Visit,” the release describes “the world’s first sponsorship of a gynecological visit for Shimmer, a long-time eBay celebrity from Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Shimmer will be riding to and from her gynecologist in a limo, will undergo a gynecological exam and will be promoting Globat.com and cancer prevention throughout the day.”

They thought that St. Pats and St. Pap (Smear) go together? Furthermore, there’s such a thing as an eBay celebrity? Because when I think “Performance Web Hosting(TM)” I want to connect it with a visit to the OB/GYN — which I am told by reliable sources I am married to as well as every woman comedian I’ve ever seen — is about as unpleasant as a colonoscopy but without the fun of watching it on TV? Because green and (note to self: place euphemism for a woman’s genitals here) goes so well together? Because “Shimmer” is an Irish name? WHAT? WHAT?

And, while it’s not nearly in the same league with the above: Why did Ben & Jerry’s choose the month of St. Pats day to introduce an ice cream flavor called “Black & Tan”? The black & tans, for those of you not up on your Irish history, was the nickname of a particularly reprehensible part of British “police” (maybe the military…) charged with keeping the “peace” while the Old Sod was still entirely a part of the UK. Hmmm, B&J are now owned by Unilever — a British company…hmmm.