Put down the celery and come out with your hands up: Footie club warns of vegetable threat

In what has to be the oddest security precaution ever, UK soccer team “Chelsea warned their fans on Friday against throwing celery during matches, saying it was a criminal offence and that anyone caught lobbing the popular salad vegetable could be banned.”

The quotes only get better, of course.

The UK Football Association said in a release:

“The throwing of anything at a football match, including celery, is a criminal offence for which you can be arrested and end up with a criminal record. In future, if anyone is found attempting to bring celery into Stamford Bridge they could be refused entry and anyone caught throwing celery will face a ban.”

While the incidents of assault with a deadly-yet-nutritious vegetable are recent, celery has been stalking the team for more than 20 years (sorry, I couldn’t resist). That’s how long fans have been fans pelting each other with the stuff as well as singing what Reuters calls “an unprintable song about the vegetable.”

Actually it’s a chant. And quite printable:

“Celery! Celery! Well if she don’t come I’ll tickle her bum with a lump of celery”

While this is an odd tradition, it is certainly less odd than the Cub’s tradition of going at least a century between championships.

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