FDA announces recall of “Toxic Waste® brand Nuclear Sludge® Chew Bars”

NOMINITAVE DETERMINISM IN ACTION!

There’s really nothing you could possibly add to that headline but if you want to read the FDA announcement go here.

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Has Nestle come up with the worst product name ever?

Butterfinger candy bar to change names: Following a two-year study of consumer tastes, officials announced the iconic “crispety, cruchety” candy will now be known as “The Finger.” Nestle said the “Butterfinger” candy, founded in 1928, was often perceived as something awkward, “lacking in physical coordination and grace.”  “At no time did we want to imply that a Butterfinger candy bar was just for clumsy people,” Nestle stated.

Wait it’s just a really good April Fools! See here and here.

Nicely done.

Hershey makes stealth move into camouflage chocolate market

As the first blogger to discover the trend of sweets that won’t betray your position under fire, I believe Hershey’s owes me a finders fee. The candy giant is now selling its own version:

No matter how tempted you may be, do NOT send these to those participating the George Bush Desert Classic. A: This is a woodland camo. B: They would melt in the shipping and not in the soldiers’ mouths.

(BTW, found this at the wonderful JunkFoodBlog.)

Just what the world needs: Dehydrated margaritas for kids

Now on the market: Booz2Go, a powder that when mixed with water produces a “bubbly, lime-colored and -flavored drink with just 3 percent alcohol.” The Dutch invention comes in packets that hold 1.4 tablespoons of powder and sell for around $1.50.

“We are aiming for the youth market. They are really more into it because you can compare it with Bacardi-mixed drinks,” said one of its inventors, 20-year-old Harm van Elderen.

Because just adding booze to candy gets you in to all sorts of trouble, that’s why. Not that people haven’t done that, too. CandyAddict has tales of shot glasses made of candy and gummi beers — non-alcoholic gummi products that look and taste like beer.

I want someone to make Pop Rocks out of Booz2Go. If that doesn’t kill Mikey, nothing will.

What part of the phrase “Bacon-flavored candy” don’t you understand?

Over at CandyAddict they are running a review of bacon-flavored mints and have links to reviews of several other similar products, including chocolate-covered bacon, gummi bacon and bacon-flavored jellybeans. You first.

People object to candy cigarettes, so what about gummi poker chips?

I know what I’m giving out next Halloween … because they’re never too young to go all in, that’s why. Gummi dice also available for all your favorite young crap shooters. And while we’re on the topic of inappropriate for kids: How about beer-flavored sunflower seeds? This can be washed down with a Rehab Recovery Supplement Energy Drink (soon to be co-branded by either Hasbro or the Betty Ford Clinic, I’m sure). Oh hell just go read CandyAddict & Junk Food Blog yourself, will you?
Technorati Tags: Candy, Gummi, Poker, Chips, Dice, Gambling, Beer, Sunflower, Seeds, Rehab, Junk, Food, Kids,

Nestle buys Jenny Craig — now there’s a co-branding opportunity

VEVEY, Switzerland – In a new twist in corporate synergy, Nestle AG, the world's biggest food and drink company, said Monday it will fatten up its weight-loss business by buying Jenny Craig Inc. for $600 million.

Man, even the AP sees the humor in this one. Will we have Jenny Craig candy bars or Nestle diet bars? Or both? 

People for the Ethical Treatment of Candy Animals

According to the National Confectioners Association

• 90 million chocolate Easter bunnies are made for Easter each year.
• Marshmallow PEEPS® have been the top selling non-chocolate Easter candy brand for the last decade, outselling jelly beans.

STOP THE SLAUGHTER!!!