Buy 1, get 1 free is worldwide trend among car dealers

Can the US get the same deal with car makers?

I totally fail to understand the economics on this for the dealers beyond: UH OH.

When all else fails … hope for divine intervention:

With sport-utility vehicles at the altar and auto workers in the pews, one of Detroit’s largest churches on Sunday offered up prayers for Congress to bail out the struggling auto industry.

“We have never seen as midnight an hour as we face this week,” the Rev. Charles Ellis told several thousand congregants at a rousing service at Detroit’s Greater Grace Temple. “This week, lives are hanging above an abyss of uncertainty as both houses of Congress decide whether to extend a helping hand.”

Local car dealerships donated three hybrid SUVs to be displayed during the service, one from each of the Big Three. A Ford Escape, Chevy Tahoe from GM and a Chrysler Aspen were parked just in front of the choir and behind the pulpit.

How to get a piece of the government bailout

My latest from BlownMortgage:

At this point in the economic down-turn there’s really only one question on most of our minds: How can I become a commercial bank or an automaker?

Old friend Helen Kennedy put it succinctly in The New York Daily News: “Two more pillars of the American economy are coming to Washington hat in hand: American Express and Detroit’s Big Three. The struggling New York-based credit giant reportedly wants a $3.5 billion bailout. American Express got permission to become a bank holding company this week, making it eligible for a piece of the $700 billion bailout.

The Federal Reserve gets to make the decision about who gets to be a bank. Since the Fed has already decided to leave us all holding the bag for bank companies, it seems only fitting that we should also get a chance at being a bank holding company as well.

Use the following checklist to see if you qualify:

  • Do you need to cut borrowing costs?
  • Are your main sources of funding in danger of going away?
  • Do you need access to government money?
  • Has your inability to get credit endangered your fiscal health?
  • Would the ability to issue government-backed bonds keep you solvent?
  • Are you willing to take deposits from both consumers and companies?
  • Is your current role in the financial system mostly watching your investments lose money?

If you answered yes to all these questions then CONGRATULATIONS!!! You clearly meet all the essential qualifications needed to be a bank holding company.

Not sure of all that it takes to become an American car company but I do know I can fulfill one of the basic obligations: I guarantee no one will want to buy a car I build.

Is it just me or does the plan to throw more money at the car companies give new meaning to the phrase “Grand Theft Auto”?

Fully loaded car comes complete with pistol

Mark Mulder, owner of Max Motors in Butler, Missouri, reports that sales have soared since launching a promotion this week that promises buyers a free handgun or a $250 gas card with every purchase.

“This thing has taken off. Sales have quadrupled,” said Muller. The store sells both used and new vehicles including General Motors and Ford products. Every buyer so far “except one guy from Canada* and one old guy” has elected to take the gun, Muller said. Muller recommends his customers select a Kel-Tec .380 pistol. “It’s a nice little handgun that fits in your pocket.”

“We did it because of Barack Obama. He said all those people in the Midwest, you’ve got to have compassion for them because they’re clinging to their guns and their Bibles. I found that quite offensive. … We all go to church on Sunday and we all carry guns,” said Muller. “I’ve got a gun in my pocket right now. I have a rifle in my truck. We’ve got to shoot the coyotes out here, they’re attacking our cows, our chickens. We’re not clinging to nothing. We’re just damn glad to live in a free country where you can have a gun if you want. This is the way it ought to be.”

See, the Democrats are already helping the economy.

*Damn Canadians.

Heather points out the shoes to wear while driving your car from Max’s. They were designed by Karl Lagerfeld and will be put out by Chanel.

Via Shoeblogs

If you like to drink and drive — that is get loaded while driving fully loaded — here’s the drink for you:

More examples of weaponized alcohol containers can be found here.

Ohio car dealer ad proclaims Jihad on the auto industry & “Fatwa Fridays”

It is either the stupidest ad of the year or the greatest PR stunt or both.  Media reports say the Dennis Mitsubishi car dealership in Columbus, Ohio, is planning to run an ad

proclaiming a jihad on the U.S. auto market and offering “Fatwa Fridays” with free swords for the kids.

Surprisingly Muslim leaders have denounced the campaign. Now having been to Columbus on several occasions (I don’t recommend it) I can say that just from casual observation it is easy to tell  the city has a large and visible Muslim population. This makes what would otherwise be a merely incredibly offensive ad into and one that is incredibly offensive and stupid. However it did get the dealership a lot of free media coverage. This would be one of the instances when there is indeed such a thing as bad publicity.

“The ad has never been released, it is not out for public listening,” one dealership employee who would not give his name (can’t imagine why) is quoted as saying. In a sign that maybe there is some hope, the head of the local chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations* said several radio stations had already rejected the ad.

*Could I suggest a name change for CAIR? The way the title reads now it seems like you are either American or Islamic and I really really don’t think that that’s the case.