Dr. Freud, call for you on line 1.

"It takes a big man to swing a pink bat in a major league game." — Howard Smith, senior vice president for licensing for Major League Baseball.

Major League Baseball granted special permission for players to use baby pink bats on Mother's Day as part of a weeklong program to raise money for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.

Next best quote: "The thought of these big macho men, swinging pink bats to help women with breast cancer … what a novel idea," said Louisville Slugger president John Hillerich.

Dr. FREUD, STAT!

(To see a totally safe for work picture of said bats, go here.)

Further proof charity begins at home

The AP reports: Former first lady Barbara Bush gave relief money to the Bush-Clinton Katrina Fund on the condition that it be spent to buy educational software from her son Neil’s company.

Nope, not gonna make that up. Wouldn’t be prudent.

However while that may be the most self-serving donation reported today to aid the victims of the hurricanes, it is far from the oddest. Someone gave $35K (presumably not for software produced by the company of someone he or she is related to) to VH1’s “Pay to Play for Hurricane Katrina Relief” benefit. For $25 you got pick one video to be played. For $35K? They gave a whole hour to the person to program any music videos they chose. And they chose … “the English and German music videos for the 1984 hit 99 Luftballons, aka 99 Red Balloons, by German rock group Nena.”

And?

And that’s it.

To hear and see an hour’s worth of the song, which is much better in German because you get the melodic hook without the having to pay attention to its lyrics, turn on VH1 Classic Sunday, starting at 2 PM.  If you’re going to be out, you should set your Tivo now.