IRONY OVERLOAD ALERT: Nigeria charges Dick Cheney in bribery case

Nigeria will file charges against former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney and officials from five foreign companies including Halliburton Co. over a $180 million bribery scandal, a prosecutor at the anti-graft agency said.

NIGERIA is upset over financial fraud? Mr. Pot meet Mr. Kettle. HALLIBURTON is involved in bribery? I’m shocked. Just shocked.

penguin-seal

Company introduces “Sarah-Cuda” hunting bow

What’s pink, cuddly and can bring down a moose or at least a Biden? The GOP hopes it’s Sarah Palin, they might want to invest in Lakota Industries adorable new hunting bow. While the pink camo is certainly fitting  … you really have to hope anything your hunting is color blind. Or maybe it will distract Dick Cheney if you ever have to go hunting with the current VP.

Other potential candidate/product tie ins:

  • The Joe Biden Leaf Blower — How much hot air do you need?
  • The John McCain Pistol Holster — Allows you to shoot from the hip and automatically hit your own foot.
  • Barack Obama Holy Water — Everybody keeps telling me he can perform miracles.
Are Bidens in season?

Are Bidens in season?

Nice move: The company will donate 10 percent of Sarah-Cuda proceeds to the National Association for Down Syndrome.

U.S. escalates war on concepts: “The enemy is extremism”

pogoIn an interview on NPR Gen. David Petraeus showed that logic is not a required course at the Army War college:

Q: A simple question that many in America are now wrestling with: Who is the enemy and what is the U.S. fighting for?

A: The enemy is extremism, we think, and it is extremism that comes in various forms.

I forget, is it the infantry or the artillery who are trained in extreme combat?

Isn’t moderation the best weapon against extremism? But if you do it too well you run the risk of being extremely moderate.

If the enemy is extremism does this mean we’re about to attack the X Games?

Maybe we could attack marketers who use the word extreme when ever they want to appear “hip” and “down” with the kids these days?

I look forward to the Armed Forces blowing up statues of Sen. Barry Goldwater who famously said that extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice.

Isn’t going to war a very extreme act?

One definition of extremism is “any political theory favoring immoderate uncompromising policies.” Invade the vice president’s office immediately.

This reminds me of something George Bush the elder said during the first Iraq contretemps: “We are fighting to prove that might does not make right.”

The war on extremism makes the war on terror look good.

Cheney “going hunting” on Election Day

So there’s another euphemism for getting drunk. When that guy does a few shots … he really does a few shots! (Rim shot, please…) OK, so the man is going to be armed, imbibed, already in a bad mood over whatever goes wrong in Iraq tomorrow and facing a likely major loss at the polls — are you brave enough to get in the duck blind with him? Oh, and yes, this is the first time since his last shooting incident that the Veep has directly taken up arms against a living thing. Put the Spinmeisters on high alert. Congrats to some Colorado Pro-Pot group for putting down the oreos long enough to come up with the above ad.

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Quick takes

  1. Intentionally or unintentionally ironic? From the Journal's website: Video: Bush on economy | Snow on jobs
  2. Really pissed that Dan Brown was found not guilty in the Da Vinci Code plagiarism case. Not that I think he stole any of it, I was just hoping someone would be made to pay for writing a book that bad.
  3. Fox News hard at work. This is their lead from the Bush dropped the dime on Valerie Plame story: WASHINGTON — President Bush was defending the War on Terror to an audience in North Carolina on Thursday, just as word came that newly filed court documents reveal Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney authorized Cheney's former chief of staff to release classified information about Iraq in July 2003. What, other than getting the phrase War On Terror into the sentence does the first part of the sentence have to do with the second?
  4. Product innovations I really don't understand: Oblong Oreos — allegedly better for dunking.