Last night an alleged “Pekingese” named Palacegarden Malachy won the Toy group at Westminster. HE IS AN IMPOSTER! As the pictures below prove “Malachy” is in actuality Perry The Platypus in shag carpeting!
My suspicions were raised when Mrs. CollateralDamage pointed out that someone had entered a cube of fur in the competition. As all right-thinking people know, the only cube-shaped animal is the brilliant co-star of the great Phineas & Ferbshow. (See here for more photographic proof.) A little too appropriate that he won the Toy competition. I suspect the invisible hand of Disney marketing.
At least we finally know the answer to the eternal question, “Hey, where’s Perry?”
August is when the media collectively takes a nap (tho’ individually it’s not always so), as a result this is the time of year when animal stories (shark gatherings, etc.) take over. They take the phrase dog days of summer very seriously.
Here, as the President-elect said, are the issues: “We have two criteria that have to be reconciled. One is that Malia is allergic, so it has to be hypoallergenic. There are a number of breeds that are hypoallergenic. On the other hand, our preference would be to get a shelter dog, but, obviously, a lot of shelter dogs are mutts like me. So — so whether we’re going to be able to balance those two things, I think, is a pressing issue on the Obama household.”
The answer is simple. You do as we did and go to one of the many breed-specific dog rescue societies and get a shelter dog of the type you need. I am sure they would all fall over themselves faster than puppies trying to get to a chew toy.
We recommend a pug from Pug Rescue of New England. I have no idea if pugs meet the allergenic criteria and I don’t care. What I do know is once you get a pug, you then have a pug and what could be better than that?
If elected Willie Bean will not be the nation’s first canine mayor, nor its first Labrador one.
In 2004, Rabbit Hash, Ky., elected Junior Cochran, a black Lab, as mayor. It was the second canine elected to lead the small Northern Kentucky town, according to the town’s Web site. The first was a mutt named Goofy Borneman, according to Laurie Lamblin, a resident and employee of the town’s historic general store.
A moment of silence is in order.
Mayor Cochran (“Mayor Junior” to his many friends) died two months ago.
During his time in office the mayor served as mascot for the Northern Kentucky Women’s Crisis Center’s pet protection program, helped raise money at benefits by manning kissing booths, was the subject of a 2006 TV special on Animal Planet, and in 2004 he helped dedicate an Underground Railroad Memorial in the town. I’ve known mayors who’ve done far less.
All water dishes will remain half-filled during the official period of mourning.
BTW, in 1986 Lajitas, Texas, elected Clay Henry, a beer-drinking goat, as mayor. Boston also had a beer drinking goat as mayor at the time, his name was Ray Flynn. Wait. He wasn’t a goat.
This is probably the greatest piece of legislation since it tried to ban Marshmallow Fluff two years ago. I know I feel better knowing that this important issue has been dealt with. I can only hope that the Senate and the governor understand the urgency of the threat poised by a company THAT DOESN’T EVEN OPERATE IN THE STATE. I hope the US government and the UN will also act as this is a international issue. Two months ago
we reported on the disturbing trend of Dog rental companies taking off in Tokyo! (Please ignore any comments I made about wanting to start a franchise here as a way to get more dogs in to my life. I misspoke or quoted myself out of context or something.)
I turned to an expert source for more informed opinion on this issue, my Office Manager (right). She said, and this is a verbatim quote, “Snort snuffle snort snort snuffle.”
Remember: When renting pets is outlawed only outlaws will rent pets!
Jayna Hutchinson, 33, of Lebanon, N.H., was charged with cruelty to a police animal and resisting arrest after a July 31 incident in West Fairlee, VT. Police responding to the report of a brawl were approached by Hutchinson, who told one officer she had been assaulted the day before by one of the men in the brawl.
Vermont State Police Sgt. Todd Protzman declined to take her statement on the grounds that she was drunk but offered to take her statement at another time.
Hutchinson then approached Protzman’s cruiser, where his dog Max was waiting.
Best quote goes to state attorney Will Porter, who subsequently dropped the charges:
“I think it was going to be difficult to prove her conduct changed the dog’s behavior,” Porter said. “Most of the time (in harassment cases) people would come tell the court what it felt like. Dogs can’t do that.”
They named the English Springer Spaniel as Best In Show. The fact that my last dog, Bear, was an ESP has nothing to do with the fact that I think the ESP should ALWAYS be best in show. Absolutely nothing. I am totally unbiased and impartial. Totally. (Although sometimes I think it’s OK to name the bulldog. Sometimes. See I told you I was unbiased. And I must confess to briefly being taken by last night’s Bouvier. Briefly. And I really like Aussie Sheep and Cattle dogs, too. And mutts. I really like mutts. Shouldn’t they have a Best Mutt in Show?)