Joe Barton wasn’t only GOP-er apologizing to BP

Wow. The Republicans sure seem determined to give the mid-term elections back to the Democrats.

barton2

Press release wants you to “Celebrate Hitler’s Birthday by Knowing the Truth about Christianity, Nazism, and the Holocaust”

MEDIA ADVISORY, April 20 /Christian Newswire/ — In a book released today, on Hitler’s birthday, Author Joe Keysor combats the growing charge that Christianity fed the Nazi purge of the Jews and Hitler’s hatred in his book "Hitler, the Holocaust, and the Bible: A Scriptural Analysis of Anti-Semitism, National Socialism, and the Churches in Nazi Germany."

Many Christians are unaware that their faith is being painted more and more as the reason for Hitler’s hatred for the Jews and the cause of the Holocaust. "New" Atheists like Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris are doing their best to depict all religion as dangerous and Christianity included. Other secularists have continued this train of thought by asserting that Hitler was a Christian.

Ummmm, “celebrate”?

Microsoft reveals previously unknown gift for satire

This is from The Waffle Group blog — where it really is all about the syrup:

It certainly seems that Microsoft are moving into the scathing humour industry when one looks at this press release entitled “Microsoft Brings Holiday Cheer on a Budget to Hispanic Families With Microsoft Office 2007 and Microsoft Office 2007 Language Pack in Spanish.”

Honestly, that really is the headline. Holiday Cheer on a Budget! With Microsoft Products! Now in Spanish!

It’s either satire, or Microsoft are using their system administrators to write press releases.

Damn! Wish I’d found this first. You really owe it to yourself to read the rest of the post.

Top 10 Marketing Blunders of 2008

Yeah, there’s a lot more than 10 here. What can I say? It was a very good year for very bad things.

(PS: If you liked this would you mind going here and voting for it on Digg?)

GRAND PRIZE FOR SUSTAINED ORGANIZATIONAL EFFORT

(tie)

The John McCain Presidential Campaign

  • “Our economy, I think, is still — the fundamentals of our economy are strong.”
  • Has no idea how many houses he (or his wife) owns.
  • Picks Sara Palin, the Broad to Nowhere who couldn’t find Russia or Africa on a map.
  • Campaign adviser and former HP CEO Carly Fiorina says Palin couldn’t run a major corporation.
  • Campaign adviser and former senator Phil Gramm says Americans are whiners about economic problems.
  • “Shutting down” his campaign to fix the bailout.
  • “Lipstick on a pig”
  • Egregious attack on Dungeons & Dragons that clearly cost him the election. (OK, maybe not so much the last one).

GM

Runners Up

  1. Ford features “Space Oddity” — a song about astronaut suicide — in new car campaign.
  2. Framingham State College  uses the word blah 137 times in a 312-word fundraising letter.
  3. Disney (multiple entries): Bans kids from DisneyWorld restaurant; Changes “It’s A Small World” to “A Salute to All Nations, But Mostly America; and Sells “High School Musical” panties for tween girls with the phrase “Dive In” on them.
  4. Woolworths (UK) launches Lolita brand of beds for young girl
  5. JetBlue lives up to Southwest’s parody ad by charging for pillows.
  6. Russia uses smiling kids in tourism ad for war zone
  7. Residents of Lesbos sue those other lesbians over brand name
  8. Motrin gets headache from viral moms video
  9. Butcher’s ads feature “Meat Products, Fresh Service” on naked woman
  10. Hershey asks if you’ve found Mr. Goodbar

Special Jury Awards

Co-Branding That Shouldn’t Have Been

The Alpha & Omega of Over-reaching

Product Failure

The Penguins Of Irony “Oh NO You Din’t” Awards

Previous years’ lists

Penguin seal

CONFIRMED!!!! A bad press release!!!

Zoo Atlanta wants there to be no doubt that they’ve got an important knocked-up panda on their hands — that’s why they doubly confirmed it in a release announcing the pregnancy of 11-year-old giant panda Lun Lun:

The confirmation of today’s ultrasound is a confirmed indication that birth is eminent!!!

OK, it would be far too easy and cheap a joke to say that only in Atlanta is a pregnant 11 year-old viewed as a good thing. So I am not going to make that joke. Nope. Won’t do it.

In addition to finding out that a panda birth is eminent, the release also contained this nugget of information:

In late July, Lun Lun began demonstrating a sharp decrease in appetite, followed by lethargy, somnolence and withdrawn behavior – all normal and expected patterns for a female giant panda experiencing either pregnancy or pseudopregnancy.

Also normal and expected patterns for 45-year-old bloggers before their first cup of coffee.

Many thanks to devoted reader isisinator for sending this along. If you should come across any impressively bad press releases please send them to cvon ((at)) areporter ((DOT)) com.

For another beaut check out this one that my ol’ buddy Rob found. It starts: In the newly released benchmark report, Application Security: Protect Sensitive Data while Improving Compliance, Aberdeen Group, a Harte-Hanks Company (NYSE:HHS), found that on average, Best-in-Class organizations …

and that’s just the first half of the first sentence.

Press release of the day: “Warning — Romantic Apathy Runs Rampant Among Christians”

It’s everywhere! You read the blogs, see report after report… Romantic Apathy is running rampant and it’s affecting Christian relationships all over the world. It’s bursting through on televisions, creeping in by email, and now, cell phones make it even easier to whisper words of love without ever having to look into each others eyes.


Noticing the trend, Guy Bickel, the originator of a unique Christian CD for romantic enlightenment entitled The Original Love Song, references a recent blog article entitled ‘Romance in the Age of Irony’, where Urban Survivor writes: “Love in the 21st Century is a joke… it’s a punch line in a sitcom. It’s an e-mail with a lame smiley face in place of an original phrase. It’s a hasty text message (LUV U) with a hieroglyph where your heart ought to be.”

Romance In The Age Of Irony doesn’t stand a chance against Making Money During Romance In The Age Of Irony.

BTW, I am starting an effort to amend the constitution to raise the age of irony to 40.

Press release of the day: “Can Batman Teach Spiritual Truth”

Shouldn’t questions have a question mark at the end of them?

We too have a superhero that came to rescue us from evil and an eternity apart from Him. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. And our Superhero shows us that life is only found by using our great gifts and power to serve others and rescue the desperate. We need to become Robin to His Batman. We are part of the team and He’s counting on us to respond.

Lord, deliver us from your followers …