Brand violation: Dunkin’ Donuts tries to go healthy

Dunkin’ Donuts will begin offering a new slate of better-for-you offerings in August. The menu, which will debut in stores Aug. 6, will feature two new flatbread sandwiches made with egg whites. Customers will be able to choose either a turkey sausage egg-white sandwich or a vegetable one. Both will be under 300 calories with 9 grams of fat or less, the company said. … The new menu will be called DDSmart and will include all current and new items that either have 25 percent few calories, sugar, fat or sodium than comparable products or contain ingredients that are “nutritionally beneficial,” the company said.

A)Health is not why anyone goes to DD — which was founded in Waltham and is by far the most ubiquitous franchise in Boston. DD is all about reliably bland and (compared to *$) inexpensive coffee and treats. Just the idea that they’ll be bringing vegetables into this temple of cream and sugar makes me unhappy.

B) In tough economic times people want comfort not health. I don’t give this thing a sugar cube’s chance in coffee of surviving.

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One sweet marketing opportunity: Senior citizens picket over donut ban

At issue is a decision to refuse free doughnuts, pies and bread that were being donated to senior centers around Putnam County, north of New York City. Officials were concerned that the county was setting a bad nutritional precedent by providing mounds of doughnuts and other sweets to seniors.

Krispy Kreme? Dunkin Donuts? Homer Simpson? Someone get their PR people in gear NOW!

Co-brandings I didn’t see coming: Dunkin’ Donuts & MapQuest

It lets you plan road trips and find DDs across the country. Adfreak saw the best quote in the story:

“It’s really important for us to defend our leadership in iced coffee,” Scott Hudler, client director of marketing.

The reason I didn’t see this coming? I live in Boston where our Dunkin locator device is called looking left AND right. If there’s not one in immediate view then you are not in Boston.

Study: Coffee makes advertising better

Consumerist notes that we can expect the US to invade Brazil at any moment as the price of coffee looks to be going up for the next few years. Hope this one works out better than the war for lower gas prices has. 

This looks to have a radical impact on the marketing biz as Aussie scientists (Oz Boffins?) have discovered that nothing will cement a sale like a cup of java. Quoth the other ABC (Australian Broadcast Corp):

Researchers say a caffeine hit improves our ability to process information and increases the extent to which we listen to and take on board a persuasive message. 

The Boffins say companies "should schedule adverts for times when people are likely to be consuming caffeine, such as breakfast time." But that's only if you have a convincing argument. If you're trying to sell a bunch of crap than you want to get people when they're going on a java bender.

Drinking too much coffee, however, means we are more likely to be distracted by peripheral factors, rather than the strength of the argument. "So if you're looking at an advertisement you may be more distracted by the attractiveness of the person selling it than the actual product," he said. 

Get ready for Dunkin' Donuts and Starbucks to be over-run by bikini babes waving strobe lights. Also, every used car lot will now offer all the free Red Bull you want.

Coffee mug pic courtesy of the amazing Too Much Coffee Man comic. Go here to read TMCM and/or buy the mug or other cool stuff. 

Decaf with sugar, two frosted and some body armor … to go

Tim Hortons, the famous-for-Canada version of Dunkin Donuts, is going the extra several thousand miles for Canadian troops and opening up a branch in Kandahar, Afghanistan. There are currently 2300 Canucks in the area, which means the morning rush is going to be amazing…