CBS: To market a network you’ve got to break a few eggs

The CBS logo and slogans promoting the TV network and its series will appear along with coded expiration dates on eggs sold by grocers. … More than 35 million eggs will be marked with phrases such as “CSI: Crack the Case on CBS” and “The Class, New Grade-A CBS Comedy” as part of a deal between the CBS Marketing Group and EggFusion, an egg-coding company.

What, no “the yolks on you” tag for sitcoms? Will they guarantee medium, large and extra-large laughs? Will there be segregation — with shows that have more caucasian audiences plugged only on white eggs and those that appeal to a more “urban” audience be put on … no, wait, it’s CBS. They don’t have any Urban shows. Shows that aren’t actually expected to succeed will be advertised on Turkey eggs or will they just smell like rotten …? Given how much older the CBS demographic tends to be than that of other networks aren’t they worried about linking their brand with such a high-cholesterol product? Other than give comedians a great premise, what egg-zactly did CBS have in mind? [Memo to self: Come up with a collapsing souffle joke re: ratings.] And what the hell is an “egg-coding company”?