NYU insults New England alumnae/i

My alma mater has aimed a deadly insult at me and my fellow Violets here in the land of all that is right, decent and pompous. Owing to construction on the campus green concrete that is Washington Square Park this Wednesday the commencement ceremony will take place at YANKEE STADIUM.

HAVE YOU PEOPLE NO SENSE OF SHAME?

That does it. I am not giving the school another penny until the commencement ceremony takes place at Fenway. And by “another” I mean “a first”.

(Yes, we are The Violets. I can’t tell you exactly how amusing it was to be a wrestler from a school based in Greenwich Village AND have the team name of The Violets. Once we were at a tri-meet with Stephens Tech and University of Pennsylvania and so had The Ducks and The Quakers laughing at us. We deserved it. For reasons I was never able to determine the student newspaper referred to the women’s teams as Violettes. Because plain ol’ Violet wasn’t femme enough? The school has tried to change the team names to The Bobcats, in honor of — not making this up — the library catalog. )

And the worst commercial real estate in the US is…

Texas Stadium in Dallas and Jacobs Field in Cleveland. That’s according to Hasbro, which placed those two properties where the ultra-low rent Baltic and Mediterranean Avenues used to be, on its just-released Monopoly: Here & Now Edition. The company said the new edition “was designed to answer the question: “What would the most popular board game of all time look like if it were invented today instead of in 1935?” (Well, actually, it was designed to answer the ever-popular question: How do we move more units? But never mind that.) Top spots on the board go to New York’s Times Square, which takes the place of Boardwalk. Coming in second to New York yet again: Boston’s Fenway Park, which is Park Place. And not only have the properties been revamped but so have the tokens: the race car is a Toyota Prius, the old shoe is New Balance running shoe, and “the hip labradoodle takes the place of the Scottish terrier,” they tell us. The game tokens also include McDonald’s French Fries, a Motorola RAZR cell phone, and a generic airplane and laptop computer—which means none of the airlines or computer-makers would cough up a fee for naming rights. Cheap, cheap, cheap.

(FYI: This was originally written for a Brandweek newsletter. You should really check out Brandweek.com, I DO!)