Press release of the day: “Film Sets New Christian Comedy Trend”

Back in the immoral age of comics, Christian comedians seemed out of place in any other venue besides a church.

Some would argue that the only thing that goes on in a church is comedy, but that would be going for the cheap laugh and I would never do that.

Or how about: “Three comedians walk into a church. Only one of them knows he’s a comedian.”

Aren’t all comedians Immoral? (“deliberately violating accepted principles of right and wrong“)  The basic job definition is holding up a fun-house mirror to society & letting people consider ideas that they would never think of otherwise.

It would be hard to come up with a bigger violation of currently accepted principles of right and wrong than humbly pursuing your faith, loving your God and your fellow man even over the pursuit of material gain. Thus Christianity can be pretty damn immoral. When the late Mr. Carlin went on about the seven dirty words that you can’t say on television he was making a point about the unpleasantness of swearing serving to distract us from the true obscenities of the world like poverty, war, bigotry. For me that’s a very Christian message.

I actually have a bunch of God related material in my act. “Two phrases I hate: ‘person of faith’ and ‘faith-based organization.’ Please do not insult my belief that way. Cubs fans are a people of faith and support a faith-based organization. Me, I believe in God.” (The way things are going I’m going to have another patsy organization. GM? The Knicks? The Fed?)

In case you were wondering what the hell: “Enter Ron Pearson, a Christian who is explicit about his faith yet is one of the top secular comics in the business. … Pearson’s latest project, Apostles of Comedy; The Movie, is a masterpiece that’s sure to set a new trend in both the Christian and secular comedy world. The film fuses 4 award – winning comedians that spotlights not only the quirks but explores their private lives as they share their journeys of love, faith, hope and forgiveness. You’ll see famed comedians Pearson, Anthony Griffith, Brad Stine and Jeff Allen as you’ve never seen them.”

“As you’ve never seen them?” Well, that’s setting the bar pretty low. How about as you’ve never heard of them?

And just FYI: Bob Newhart is GOD!

Punk god illustration by George Coghill.

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7 moments of silence you can’t say on television for one of the greats … George Carlin

He was certainly one of the great white comedians of his generation, one of the few that I put up there with Richard Pryor. I remember one time — maybe a Saturday Night Live — where he just came out and stared at the audience for five minutes. I have no idea why it was funny but me and the audience couldn’t stop laughing.

One of my favorites from his news bulletins: “A man has barricaded himself into an apartment on Main Street. Police say he is unarmed and alone and they really don’t care.”

Only William Safire was his equal when it came to dissecting language and its uses.

And he was in one of my favorite truly dumb comedies as Rufus in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

Rufus: [putting on his sunglasses] Gentlemen… we’re history.

When life imitates George Carlin*: Fake priest arrested for baptizing real baby

The Portuguese are very particular about who may or may not splash water on infants. An unidentified 34-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of impersonating a priest in a small town in northern Portugal.

“When the man said ‘in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit’ police came in and grabbed him,” said a member of the church.

Shouldn’t the “move-in” phrase have been “I renounce thee Satan“? Have the cops no sense of theater or irony?

*Carlin’s line was something like, “Off-duty cop arrests on-duty robber.”