What The Fluff? fest comes to town

Loyal reader doubtless remembers how passionate we are about Marshmallow Fluff here in the Bay State (where it was invented). Earlier this year a state rep stepped in to the fluff when he offered a bill that would ban the corn-syrup based concotion from being served in public schools. The measure was withdrawn after opponents pointed out that Fluff was no more or less harmful than the corn-syrup based “jelly” that the schools also use. (This would seem an argument for banning both, but never mind.) Also, last spring Fluff purveyors Durkee-Mower sued the far-more upscale Williams-Sonoma to stop them from purveying a candy called Fluffernutter.

All of which goes to explain why this Saturday I will have the opportunity/duty to attend What The Fluff in Somerville, MA. The event bills itself as “the ultimate tribute to Union Square resident Archibald Query who invented Marshmallow Fluff here in 1917.”

Non-marshmallow treats include:

• The Flufferettes (aka Thru the Keyhole Cuties)
• Music from Los Diablos, “the reigning ‘Kings of Irish-Jewish Folk-Punk'”
• A cooking contest with prizes that include: “a trip for two in a chauffeured Zip Car (BMW or convertible Mini-Cooper) to Lynn for a private tour of the Durkee-Mower factory, a year’s supply of Marshmallow Fluff and more”

The local drinking establishments are also joining in with Fluffy potent potables including the Fluffachino — espresso with frangelico or amaretto with Fluff melting on top, the Fluffernutter Martini — a chocolate martini with Fluff and Reese’s Pieces on the rim, and — the “Coney Island Men’s Room” — blue martini with dollop of strawberry Fluff floating on top. I do not say the following lightly: I was never, ever so drunk that any of those would have been appealing. (Does anyone know what an actual martini is anymore?)

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Mr. Gild meet Mr. Lilly

Noticed something for the first time at the supermarket yesterday that apparently has been out & about for a while: Canned fruits now packaged with … SPLENDA!

For some reason we need our canned fruit extra sweet — that’s why we have the stuff packaged in heavy syrup. That was too much for some segment of the population, so companies started selling the stuff packaged in fruit juice, sans additional sucre. Then, in September 2003 the  Signature Fruit Co. launched four new canned fruit products  “specifically created for Americans aiming to consume less sugar, fewer carbohydrates and/or reduce daily caloric intake.” Thus Splenda was added to our canned fruit. Let us put aside for a moment the fact that “Americans aiming to consume less sugar, fewer carbohydrates and/or reduce daily caloric intake” could just eat fresh fruit and thereby get all sorts of other health benefits too. I, for one, think splenda is just saccharin with better PR so don’t hand me any stuff about how it’s “natural.” The bigger question is WHY DO WE ADD SUGAR (more likely high fructose corn syrup) to this stuff? Why do I live in a world where companies add (& consumers buy) apple sauce with extra sweetener? Grrrrrr…..

Fluff fighter cuts and runs from sticky situation

State Sen. Jarrett Barrios has ended his efforts to pass legislation that would have banned Marshmallow Fluff in Massachusetts public schools. Too bad, it probably would have been the most effective thing the legislature did all year.

Speaking of incredibly strange foods based on high fructose corn syrup: Twinkie lasagna or Twinkie tacos or even Twinkie kebabs. Yep, not since the incredibly well read Krispy Kreme Burger have I encountered such terrifying food ideas. I’m not sure whether I am relieved or disappointed that none of these concotions have tomato sauce, melted cheese or some form of meat.