Maryland opens Homeland Security High School

The comedy of terrors continues…

microphoneJoppatowne High School in Harford County, Maryland, is first in the nation to offer a 75-student magnet program centered on homeland security. The program, called the Homeland Security and Emergency Preparedness Magnet Program, focuses on “preparing high school students for careers in disaster response, high-level computer science and law enforcement” and begins in the fall. Students “will be given limited security clearances to enable them to perform internships at nearby Aberdeen Proving Ground, where the military develops and tests conventional and biological weapons.” Selected students will study “public safety, border control, religious ideology, geospatial technology, cybersecurity, and threat identification.”

What’s the school mascot? A microphone? A metal detection wand?

Anyone who plays on the football team is guaranteed a job in the N.E. Patriots front office.

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Unsurprising developments from today’s news…

  1. "States, cities and businesses should not expect to be rescued by the federal government if a flu pandemic strikes, warns a draft of the latest national response plan," quoth the AP. This is only news to those of you who slept through Katrina.
  2. "Despite the wall-to-wall coverage of the damage from Hurricane Katrina, nearly one-third of young Americans recently polled couldn't locate Louisiana on a map and nearly half were unable to identify Mississippi," quoths the AP again. But is being unable to ID Mississippi really  a bad thing?
  3. "Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff said Tuesday he is 'very confident' that federal officials are ready for the upcoming hurricane season," quoths the AP yet again. This from the same people who had so much "confidence" in Michael Brown.
  4. "Many teens taking virginity pledges renege on them and others take them after having had intercourse," quoth Bloomberg News. Teens lie about sex. You needed a survey to find this out? "Harvard School of Public Health Researcher Janet Rosenbaum found that 52% of adolescents who made the pledge not to have sex until marriage in the 1995 survey denied making such a vow a year later. Almost a third of nonvirgins in the first survey who took a virginity pledge disavowed previous sexual experience in the second survey." And again: You needed a survey to find this out?