Would you buy a used metaphor from GM?

The astoundingly badly run General Motors Corp. has decide that now is the time to try to sell off the Hummer brand.

“Unfortunately, it’s just a sign that once again they’re behind the curve,” said Peter Jankovskis, a chief investment officer with OakBrook Investments, which owns GM shares in some of its portfolios. “If they were looking to sell the Hummer brand, the more sensible thing would have been to do it three years ago. They’re not going to get anything for it. Just in terms of timing, it’s a very poor example.”

I’m no auto genius — which I’m at least willing to admit — but walking past a Hummer dealership this past weekend told me everything I needed to know about the brand and its future. Even the tumbleweeds were avoiding the place.

The Hummer has managed to combine a double entendre and gross conspicuous consumption since it hit the civilian market in 1992. GM bought it in 1999.

At the same time, the Detroit auto maker affirmed its commitment to funding production of the Chevrolet Volt plug-in electric-hybrid vehicle, with a target of hitting showrooms by late 2010.

An electric car?!?!? What a great idea!!!!! Why didn’t GM think of this before … wait, never mind.

My what a big pink Hummer you have

Dr. Freud! Dr. Freud! Paging Dr. Freud!

hummer.jpgA UK company has made explicit what it is that makes SUVs quite so appealing to men. Notice how the elongated pink vehicle sits between the rounded turrets and blocks the entrance to the castle from all lesser SUVs.

And while we’re on the topic of obvious, sophomoric humor: Wanko — the yum dog ice-cream from Japan. “When I suck onto my favorite flavored Popsicle, my mutts stare at me with begging eyes……..for may just one slurp! And why not, a man’s best friend should also get an icy-deal to beat the sizzling summer heat. People in Japan can indulge their pets to this dog-flavored ice-cream called Wanko.” Oh behave!

Just in case this isn’t enough giggling over names that mean one thing in English and another in whatever other language, a caption from a picture: “A four-day old baby hippopotamus hides under its 9-year-old mother Porn at Chiang Mai night safari zoo in Chiang Mai province, northern Thailand, Sunday, Aug. 5, 2007.” What’s the kid’s name? Star? BTW, regardless of their names both are incredibly cute.

For honor, country and Madden 2007

A friend in the military Sgt. Big Brother Collateral Damage  passed along this note which showed up in his .mil email account:

The National Guard Recruiting Assistance Program (G-RAP) wants to hear about your National Guard experiences! If you create an account with MySpace or use a pre-existing MySpace account and insert a blog entry about your proudest or most unusual moment while in the Guard, you could win an XBOX 360! Any exciting or unexpected moments are encouraged to be shared! True personal accounts such as the most rewarding accomplishments to the most unpredicted challenges are the ideal stories. Express your feelings and make it an interesting piece to read. We will read each story and pick the 20 best blogs; the Top 20 will each receive an XBOX 360.

His comment: I love sales incentives.

By “exciting or unexpected moments” do they mean driving around Iraq in under-armored Humvees?

I do believe the Penguins of Irony are about to enlist…