You are a Simpson!

fezI now understand why there is an interweb. So we can all create our own Simpsons avatar. This is exactly how I look in real-life. Go here to make your own. This could be the greatest viral EVER.

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In today’s news…

You know your approval ratings are low when: Jessica Simpson snubs Bush.

Best line from the story goes to a very petulant sounding NRCC spokesman Carl Forti: “It’s never been a problem for Bono,” he said, referring to the U2 rock star who has met regularly with political leaders of all stripes to promote various causes, including Third World debt relief. “I find it hard to believe she would pass up an opportunity to lobby the president on behalf of Operation Smile.”

Good news! Hot pepper kills prostate cancer cells in study: Is there’s anything it can’t do?

File under: All is chaos under heaven, and the situation in excellent. A special As I Say, Not As I Do award to China’s President Hu Jintao for publishing the following list of Do’s and Don’ts for his countrymen.

Love, do not harm the motherland.
Serve, don’t disserve the people.
Uphold science; don’t be ignorant and unenlightened.
Work hard; don’t be lazy and hate work.
Be united and help each other; don’t gain benefits at the expense of others.
Be honest and trustworthy, not profit-mongering at the expense of your values.
Be disciplined and law-abiding instead of chaotic and lawless.
Know plain living and hard struggle, do not wallow in luxuries and pleasures.

The list of aphorisms went on sale yesterday in the form of a poster with plain, black Chinese characters above a photo of the Great Wall, cost: $1. Apparently the president hopes to “douse the excesses of China’s 27-year-long economic boom with a bucket of cold virtue.” No word yet on whether Jessica Simpson would meet with this president.

Oh Brave New Media, That Has Such Strange Creatures In It: Let it not be said that the Chinese are stuck in the old ways when it comes to exhorting the masses to virtue. A new online game which stars legendary Communist hero Lei Feng shows people the way to go is “doing good deeds, volunteering on building sites and obtaining Chairman Mao’s autograph.”

Quoth Reuters: “For beginners, sewing and mending socks is the only way to increase experience and upgrade,” said Jiao Jian, a young pupil and online game fan from the southern city of Guangzhou. “As long as my experience, reputation, skill and loyalty satisfy the game’s criteria, I will win and meet Chairman Mao.”

One has to assume that the point in meeting and getting the autograph of the dictator responsible for killing tens of millions is to then be able to sell it on eBay for Big Bucks which can then be spent, virtuously, on copies of President Hu’s poster.