When flip-flops are outlawed, only outlaws will wear flip-flops

Are flip-flops damaging your career?” No that’s not a rhetorical question for John Kerry*, but the headline of a Reuters story about “U.S. style gurus … warning that the casual shoe once mainly seen on the beach could be damaging to careers.” (It’s the slow news season folks. I don’t blame Reuters. Written them myself.)

The problem is once you’ve read the headline you can pretty much write the rest of the story without actually reading it. The school board in Federal Way, WA, however has tried to stop students from damaging their careers via flip flop faux pas. Note I said tried, not succeeded as Tuesday they voted to “drop a proposed flip-flop ban on grounds that it would be impossible to enforce.” Yes, the AP reporter did enjoy this one, why do you ask? Thus the opening sentence: “The school board in this suburb between Seattle and Tacoma has flip-flopped on flip-flops.”

BTW, in case you were thinking of sending your child to school in Federal Way be advised that “The dress code adopted Tuesday bans students from wearing slippers, pajamas, halter tops, any shirt that exposes the stomach, low-riding pants and any shorts or skirts that end higher than a student’s fingertips when she is standing with her arms at her side.”

Elsewhere in flip-flop news a shoe company has unveiled a new model that includes a bottle opener in its sole. “Description of Reef Fanning Sandal – Men’s: Reef makes the Fanning sandal as a tribute to pro-surfer and party-animal extraordinaire Mick Fanning. Surfers know that you have to bring as little as possible with you to the beach, because you have nowhere to put it once you get there. That’s why this pro-model sandal comes with a bottle opener built into the outer sole. Stash some cold ones in the bushes and crack ‘em open when the day is done.”

Just curious but when was the last time you encountered a bottle that actually needed a bottle opener? Aren’t bottle openers pretty much going the way of typewriters?

*Arianna Huffington is calling Hilary the John Kerry of ’08 and that if Dems nominate her they have a “death wish.” If Hil is Kerry (and I think La Huffington is spot on) then what does that make Kerry?