Simple marketing rule: Don’t include a feature in your product that directly contradicts the name of your product. Case in point: The Medal of Honor video game from EA games. In this first person shooter, players get to pretend they are soldiers. I assume it lets you pretend you are a US soldier since those are the only people who can actually win a Congressional Medal of Honor. The latest version of the game — coming out next month — includes a feature where you can play as a member of the Taliban … and thereby shoot US soldiers. Here’s the brand disconnect: Shooting US soldiers is definitely NOT going to let you get a Medal of Honor.
Surprisingly, many people and organizations are upset by this. A lot of those people are the families of soldiers who have been killed in the war. Who could have seen that coming? Also upset is the commander of the US Army and Air Force Exchange Service (that’s the group that runs the stores on military bases), who has decided that they won’t sell the game. That will hurt because, as Sgt. Big Brother CollateralDamage can attest, military folk LOVE games like this. It will also hurt because it will make Walmart and co. think twice about stocking the game. Congrats, guys, on a blunder that could have easily been avoided.
How little does EA get it? From the official EA response:
Hey dummy: You don’t make a game where people can play as the enemy in a war that is still going on. That’s the point. In the words of the comedians: Too soon. And by the way: You’re comparing yourself to Hurt Locker? You’ve got big brass balls there, my friend. Unfortunately, the balls are hollow.
This would have been a strong contender for the stupidest marketing move of the year if BP hadn’t already locked that up. Given that, EA definitely has a strong case for first runner-up.
Wonder why the TSA allows the stuff on airplanes? Snopes points to a 1998 FAA study that reports hand sanitizers are difficult to ignite and relatively easy to extinguish. To which both Snopes and the US Military might respond: “What brand are you using?”
Nils Olav, colonel-in-chief of the Norwegian King’s Guard, was knighted today in a ceremony in Scotland. King Harald the Fifth of Norway said his fellow monarch — Col. Olav is a king penguin — is “in every way qualified to receive the honour and dignity of knighthood.” More than qualified than some others given that the list of people knighted (by the UK) includes Elton John, Rudy Guiliani, and Tom Jones. I would watch the vid to see how smartly Col. Olav reviews the troops.
While some may scoff at claims of Olav’s military brilliance and see his rank as some rank PR stunt, I say otherwise. Want proof? Name another foreign military officer who has been kept behind bars for 20 years. They may call it a “zoo” but hey so’s Guantanamo. I sense a PETA protest.
For his fine sense of irony, we’d like to honor King Harald. Therefore he is now:
PS — an old joke: What’s the difference between the Army and the Cub Scouts? The Cub Scouts have adult leadership.
The US Army is on the offensive against feral pigs in and around Fort Benning, GA, training grounds of the elite Rangers. The officer overseeing this is Maj. Bobby Toon, who is known as the base’s Pig Czar. About 2,000 people have been authorized to hunt the estimated 6,000 feral pigs roaming the 75,000-hectare base.
The base is offering a $40 bounty for every pig tail that’s brought in. Hunters must be active-duty, retired military or civilian workers at Benning and must have a licence from the base.
Hopefully this will work better than a similar tactic we’ve been using to bring in Osama bin Laden.
“We are doing everything we can without jeopardizing the quality of the training to make it more efficient and compress it,” Colonel Joe Gallagher, chief of plans for the US Army Training and Doctrine Command, said in an interview earlier this month. “The whole intent is to get the soldier into the unit where he can be used faster. Time will tell if something is missing.”
This is spin talk for we are so short of warm bodies that we will do anything. Unfortunately the proof of whether something is missing is … horrible. This is far too reminiscent of what the military did in the late 60s/early 70s. And look how well that turned out.I take this a bit personally as these are the people who are going to be next to Staff Sgt. Big Brother Collateral Damage should he ever have to play another round in the George Bush Desert Classic.
Any senior officer who signed off on this should resign or face a court-martial.
And, by the way, congrats to Jenna Bush on her engagement. Since she’s not in the service. I assume her fiance is.
Tim Hortons, the famous-for-Canada version of Dunkin Donuts, is going the extra several thousand miles for Canadian troops and opening up a branch in Kandahar, Afghanistan. There are currently 2300 Canucks in the area, which means the morning rush is going to be amazing…
In a strip earlier this week, GT provides the namby pamby ex-post-facto explanation that BD always wore a helmet because his mom was a safety freak. It is well known that the reason BD was first portrayed avec football helmet was that Trudeau wasn’t a very good artist and that was the only way to distinguish him from everyone else. DON’T TRY AND REWRITE HISTORY, dude. Nothing good ever comes of it.
*By way of an explanation, and yes I am name dropping here, it happened exactly once in 1978 at Collateral Damage Sr.’s second wedding. My memory says we spent some time discussing if one of the maids of honor was going to succeed in picking up the minister who officiated. I believe she did, but I’m willing to be corrected on that point.
the U.S. Department of the Army’s Commander’s Award for Public Service, Universal Press Syndicate announced Friday. The award — the fourth highest honor the Army can give a civilian — recognizes Trudeau’s “outstanding contributions to the morale and support of wounded service members, veterans, their families, and the Walter Reed family of healthcare providers,” wrote Major General Kenneth L. Farmer Jr. “Your compassionate portrayal of Lieutenant B.D.’s recovery and struggle to assimilate into this environment … has touched our Warrior Family and opened the eyes of the rest of the world to the physical, emotional, and personal challenges our soldiers face.”
This does not bode well for your credentials as a pinko…