Weekly round-up of business and idiocy news

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And now for the latest in Onanism — AP reports on AP not reporting on Paris Hilton

The actual lede to the alleged story:

So you may have heard: Paris Hilton was ticketed the other day for driving with a suspended license. Not huge news, even by celebrity-gossip standards. Here at The Associated Press, we put out an initial item of some 300 words. But it actually meant more to us than that. It meant the end of our experimental blackout on news about Paris Hilton.

While I applaud the blackout I am hard pressed to imagine any situation which made this follow-up to the non-story necessary.

Goats and donkeys and death, OH MY!

And in other news …

Headlines of the day:

Creamer Ready to Rise in Kraft Nabisco … has something to do with golf or baking or both.
Three 6 Mafia recording with Paris Hilton … notice how they carefully avoid the phrase “perform with.”

Cash those frequent flyer miles in now: Delta has fired and will not replace its CMO. Buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy flight.