Weekly round-up of business and idiocy news

• Citi – which loaned billions on crap mortgages – terminates account of gay social networking site because of "objectionable content”: And then changed its mind when the feces hit. “This situation had nothing to do with the content of his web site and any comments by our staff to the contrary were incorrect; we are reviewing what happened.” (BusinessInsider)
• Ad banned because of Miss Piggy’s cleavage: COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Puppet cleavage has been ruled out for advertising posters in Colorado Springs bus shelters. Lamar Advertising rejected posters for a touring production of the Broadway show "Avenue Q" because they show the cleavage of a fuzzy pink puppet. (WaPo)
• Wingnuts see Obama/Islam overtone in new Federal agency logo: “The conservative blogosphere is abuzz about the new logo of the US Missile Defense Agency, which they say looks suspiciously similar to both the Obama campaign logo and the crescent moon typically seen on Islamic flags.”(RawStory)
• Brazil government says Paris Hilton ad demeans women: Brazil’s Secretariat for Women’s Affairs wants a beer commercial starring the hotel heiress, model and actor off the air. Brazil’s regulations say beer commercials cannot treat women as overtly sensual objects. "It’s an ad that devalues women — in particular, blond women," according to a spokeswoman for the Women’s Secretariat who said it received numerous complaints. (AP) (How much did Paris pay to have someone get her back into the news?)
• Apple bans & then brings back some boob apps:  Wobble’s developer Jon Atherton has been restored to the App Store after complaining about being booted from it. “This time, there’s no suggestive images or language in the app’s marketing materials. But you can still make boobs wobble — the app’s original point — if you bring your own artwork. Wobble simply had to remove illustrations featuring a silhouette of a naked woman from its app.” (BusinessInsider)
• Man sues Royals after team mascot hits him with a hot dog: (This is my favorite lede of the week) “If there’s anything more American than shooting and throwing encased meats into a throng of loud and hungry people, it’s silly-sounding lawsuits that make for good headlines on Internet websites.” (YahooSports)

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And now for the latest in Onanism — AP reports on AP not reporting on Paris Hilton

The actual lede to the alleged story:

So you may have heard: Paris Hilton was ticketed the other day for driving with a suspended license. Not huge news, even by celebrity-gossip standards. Here at The Associated Press, we put out an initial item of some 300 words. But it actually meant more to us than that. It meant the end of our experimental blackout on news about Paris Hilton.

While I applaud the blackout I am hard pressed to imagine any situation which made this follow-up to the non-story necessary.

Goats and donkeys and death, OH MY!

• Headline of the day: McDonald’s wins “McCurry” war. As Delbert McClinton put it, “I’ve been in a lot of battles that aren’t even worth being won.”
• Churbuck has a funny one: “A Swiss man caught speeding on a Canadian highway has blamed his actions on the absence of goats on the roads.”
• Latest development in death as a marketing opportunity: “Die-hard fans of Boca Juniors, Argentina’s favourite football club, may now rest in peace in a cemetery featuring a section just for them. Home of football greats such as Diego Maradona, Boca had already started making available coffins bearing the team’s blue and yellow colours.” Don’t they know God is a Notre Dame fan?
• Questions I don’t want to know the answers to: Could donkey milk hold the secret to skin health?
• Borrowing your way to salvation? New Enlightenment Visa Card Helps Earn Points Towards Life Enriching Rewards or to Support Socially Conscious Organizations. “More than just a credit card, the Enlightenment Visa Reward Card is a card for people who want to make a positive difference in their world with every purchase they make,” says CEO Christopher Miglino. Want to make a real difference? Purchase less and give the money to someone who can do something with it.
• Congrats to my colleagues at AdFreak (hey! that’s twice in one week!) for sussing out that when Paris Hilton claimed to be rushing for a burger when pulled over for DUI — she was allegedly going to an In-N-Out Burger, not a Carl’s Jr. which is the chain she was paid to endorse. Congrats also to AdFreak for restraining from making the obvious joke about Ms. H and In-N-Out. Sadly I have no such restraint.
• Hooray for me! Someone linked to CD from a discussion threat at DailyKos earlier this week and since then I’ve been getting about 400 visits a day. That’s double what it was before. Thanks, gang!

And in other news …

Headlines of the day:

Creamer Ready to Rise in Kraft Nabisco … has something to do with golf or baking or both.
Three 6 Mafia recording with Paris Hilton … notice how they carefully avoid the phrase “perform with.”

Cash those frequent flyer miles in now: Delta has fired and will not replace its CMO. Buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy flight.