Diets can be harmful to your fiscal health

In the UK, a pilot for Virgin Atlantic lost his job because he reeked of booze. Sounds reasonable. He got his job back when it was decided that his low-carb diet made him smell like alcohol. Don’t ask me but here’s the official quote: “Subsequent blood tests later confirmed that the amount of alcohol in his blood was the equivalent to that of a non-drinker.”

Is this going to become the alcoholic’s equivalent of the over-weight claiming that it’s really a thyroid condition?

In China, celebs are learning the pitfalls of accepting money to endorse a product: A Chinese comedian has been sued by a diet-tea drinker who accused him of making false claims in an ad for “Tibetan Secret Fat Elimination Tea.”

Guo Degang claimed he had lost 6.6 lb since drinking the “miraculous Tibetan tea” and his slogan — “No big belly after three boxes of tea” — soon became a popular catch phrase. The plaintiff said she bought three boxes of tea because she was a fan of Guo, but found she lost no weight at all and suffered nausea and vomiting. Sounds like it should be called Tibetan Bulemia Inducing Tea.

In case this first deception wasn’t enough, the plaintiff also said later learned that the tea had nothing to do with Tibet.

In a related story, BankRate.com is running a really good story about “How Much Does Cost To Lose 30 pounds?” In which they run the numbers on how much Jenny Craig, WeightWatchers, NutriMax, et al. will slim your wallet if not your waist line.

• Jenny Craig: Jenny TuneUp, $49, for those who have less than 10 pounds to lose; Jenny OnTrack, $199, a six-month program; and Jenny Rewards, $399 or $358, a 12-month program that rewards dieters efforts and weight loss with discounts on food. That doesn’t include the prepackaged foods which generally cost $11 to $17 per day, or $77 to $119 per week.
• NutriSystem estimated it would take four months. Cost: $1,174.88, including all food, except fresh greens and dairy.
• LA Weight Loss Centers: $685 for 73 weeks, not including the cost of food and something called L A Lite bars.
• Weight Watchers: $214.80 and $299.80, depending on location, or $97.75 online, not including food.
• Zone Diet: $3,599.10 to $4,798.80 — all inclusive.

Or you could eat less and exercise more and get busted when you take the money you would have spent on this nonsense and instead use it to feed the homeless in Orlando. Your call.

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Fastest growing UK demographic: Women alcoholics

Women drinking at home make up the biggest growth opportunity in the UK’s alcoholic beverages market, according to the latest Datamonitor forecast.

This means a major new source of customers for both the distillers and AA. Speaking of AA, a new study has scientifically proved the efficacy of their method of recovering from the effects of alcoholism:

In a study of more than 125,000 people, one cup of coffee per day cut the risk of alcoholic cirrhosis by 20 percent. Four cups per day reduced the risk by 80 percent. The coffee effect held true for women and men of various ethnic backgrounds.

Researchers offered no indication on whether the quality of the coffee effected the recovery. (A friend told me once that there is no such thing as coffee that is too bad for a member of AA to drink. I’ll take his word for it.)

Ironically being an actual tea-totaller doesn’t help.

The researchers found no reduced risk of cirrhosis for tea drinkers.

Which would, of course, be bad news for AA in the UK.