My kid’s school officially doesn’t have a vampire problem

A school administrator wants to set the record straight: There are no vampires at Boston Latin. The headmaster of the prestigious exam school took the unusual step today of sending a notice to faculty, students, and parents saying that “rumors involving ‘vampires'” had begun spreading through the building Wednesday, causing disruption and anxiety for a number of students.

This would be more reassuring had they not just hired a Ms. Buffy Summers to consult on “paranormal student security” issues.

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Vatican Air hits its first snag: Airport security confiscates holy water

Officials at Tarbes-Lourdes airport in southern France said that bottles of water from the shrine at Lourdes could present a potential terrorist threat. The pilgrims were told they could not carry holy water in bottles bigger than the maximum allowed: 100 ml. 

No divine intervention with security?

Another possible explanation: Airport Security is actually being staffed by Vampires. Think about it.

BTW, the Vatican knows from customer service:

The airline provided a small bottle of holy water, in the shape of the Virgin Mary, for each passenger, once they had boarded the plane for the flight home from Lourdes.

Are they being sold on eBay yet?

On behalf of comedians everywhere I would like to say, “Thank God for Vatican Airlines.”