Competition increasing among deity-related air carriers: Nepal Airlines sacrifices goats for repair job

Officials at Nepal‘s state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab (see below), the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft, the carrier said Tuesday. … The goats were sacrificed in front of the troublesome aircraft Sunday at Nepal’s only international airport in Kathmandu in accordance with Hindu traditions, an official said.

Yeah, that’s just a cover story. This is really all about fighting off the challenge from Vatican Airlines. This now has all the makings for a funny novel in the fantasy genre. Someone call Mr. Pratchett.

Personally, given this deity’s countenance, I think two goats is a little on the cheap side. Definitely don’t want Him/Her/It/Them mad at me.

BTW, kudos to the blog Galloping Beaver for having a better headline on this story than I do: Akash Bhairab is my co-pilot. And their lead is funnier, too: “Faith-based aircraft maintenance.” I don’t think I like this Galloping Beaver… (but they didn’t have the cool Yeti service ad for Nepal Royal. Ha & Ha.)

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Vatican Air hits its first snag: Airport security confiscates holy water

Officials at Tarbes-Lourdes airport in southern France said that bottles of water from the shrine at Lourdes could present a potential terrorist threat. The pilgrims were told they could not carry holy water in bottles bigger than the maximum allowed: 100 ml. 

No divine intervention with security?

Another possible explanation: Airport Security is actually being staffed by Vampires. Think about it.

BTW, the Vatican knows from customer service:

The airline provided a small bottle of holy water, in the shape of the Virgin Mary, for each passenger, once they had boarded the plane for the flight home from Lourdes.

Are they being sold on eBay yet?

On behalf of comedians everywhere I would like to say, “Thank God for Vatican Airlines.”

Look out Virgin Air: Vatican launches discount airline

The world’s first airline for Catholic pilgrims has Vatican logos on the headrests and air hostesses’ uniforms and a slogan no commercial carrier can compete with: “I’m Searching for Your Face, Lord.” The airline took to the heavenly skies Monday with a flight from Rome’s Fiumicino airport for the shrine of Lourdes in France.

Best quote from a competitor:

The Vatican hopes to fly pilgrims from Rome to Santiago de Compostela in Spain, a route already serviced by the low-budget carrier. “Ryanair already performs miracles that even the Pope’s boss can’t rival, by delivering pilgrims to Santiago de Compostela for the heavenly price of 10 euros,” Ryanair said in a statement.

Competition is hell.

Sometimes the jokes write themselves.

• I believe Woody Allen had a line to the effect that the only drawback to traveling by transubstantiation is that they still loose your luggage.
• Midwest Airlines has (had?) a tradition of a serving freshly baked cookies on each flight, I can only hope Papal Air doesn’t follow the same route. Will the pilots be allowed to drink communion wine before flying?
• Unfortunately the airline won’t be flying to the US because the FAA won’t certify God as a co-pilot.