Jesus is still hot … in chocolate, plastic, CDs and Elvis

In case you had any doubts JC the First is still a bankable concept for moving product.

• In New York, The Proposition gallery in Manhattan’s Chelsea neighborhood will present “Chocolate Saints … Sweet Jesus” featuring The Dude and several saints sculpted in the sweet stuff. An earlier show was canceled due to protests. That chocolate version was to feature a naked and “anatomically correct” representation. In the new one He is clothed so the Catholics are cool. (BTW: Great headline: Naked chocolate Jesus rises again. NYT was also inspired: A Guide to Recognizing Your Chocolate Saints.)
• Wal-Mart has begun stocking the Talking Jesus Messenger of Faith doll. I want one with that old Barbie voice chip in it that says “Math is hard.” While this has been covered in much media, I could not find it at Walmart.com. I did, however, find it at Target.com which I usually think of as more heathen than Wal-Mart. They have a special: JC and his mom for $39.98. Puts new meaning in the phrase “super saver” doesn’t it? Personally, I don’t care if it rains or freezes, long as I got my plastic Jesus …
• Kid Rock, who apparently is famous for something other than his taste in ex-wives, has also found Jesus. Or at least found Jesus to be a good marketing move. His CD “Rock N Roll Jesus” has become #1 on the charts. Given how few people actually still buy CDs, how many do you have to sell to be #1?
• Kid Rock is not the only one combining the devil’s music and JC successfully. A Catholic priest in Italy who moonlights as an impersonator of that other king says “he believes Elvis is an appropriate inspiration for Christian worship because he sang of ‘love in general.‘” And there are more than a few of us who believe he (and maybe He) will rise again.

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I hate it when they’re funnier than I am

From the Consumerist: Union accuses Wal-Mart of lobbying against port security measures beacause they would reduce profit. In their defense, Wal-Mart just wanted to make sure smaller, "mom-and-pop," terrorists in urban areas remained competitive.

Wal-Mart and other Socialist dreamers

Back in college where I was a poli sci major (fewest number of requirements, no hard math) I was taught that in the US you have Socialism for the really big companies and then capitalism for the rest of us. By that my professors meant that huge companies get bail outs, subsidies, tax deals, free sports stadia and other sorts of corporate welfare that us normal folks wouldn’t even dream we could get for ourselves. Currently the ever-benevolent folks at Wal-Mart are asking that some of that Socialism be extended to the rest of us. Yes, the company which made a miniscule profit (when compared to Exxon) profit of $10 billion last year says the only way it can maintain its competitive advantage is if the government starts paying for health care.

Speaking to National Governors Association, Wal-Mart CEO Lee Scott asked for the governor’s help to make health care more affordable and accessible for the retail giant’s 1.3 million U.S. employees. Scott said the company’s health care costs have risen 19% in each of the last three years and that that is unsustainable for them and other businesses. He then added, “If you think we’re going to spend some of our profits on this then you need a better mental-health care plan.” No, wait. I made that last part up.

If you don’t think that this is a call for A Health Care System That Dare Not Speak Its Name, consider this comment by Democratic Gov. Tim Kaine of Virginia: I am “intrigued by [Scott’s] discussion about the weaknesses of the employer-based health care model in this country and sort of wondered what his thought about the alternative would be.”

Of course, for political reasons no CEO is actually going to come out and ask for a nationalized health care system but they are hinting at it a lot. The major automakers are practically begging for this. They point out that along with the cost of pensions — which they are also trying to dump on the Feds — health care adds an alleged $1K to the cost of their cars. Which, I’m certain, is why the all the top picks in Consumer Reports’ annual vehicle guide are from Japanese-owned companies. Yep, it’s health care costs that prevent them from making an inexpensive, non-gas-guzzling auto that doesn’t suck. No doubt about it.

It really is quite fascinating to watch all these CEOs hint at nationalized health care without actually saying that’s what they want.

Having basically said Wal-Mart wasn’t really going to do anything more than the barest of minimums about this, Lee Scott then proceeded to blame the workers for their bad health. Quoth the AP:

He said improving the company’s wellness program — encouraging employees to eat right and take care of their bodies — is [Wal-Mart’s] biggest challenge and the area where it has performed the poorest.

In other words, if only these people to weren’t such fat slobs than their health wouldn’t be so bad and it wouldn’t cost us so much money. Except that we aren’t paying for their health care anyway.