A 56-year-old Czech woman was detained by authorities at the Sydney airport when they found she “was concealing three live banana plants in her underwear.” Like a lot of places, the Aussies have an agricultural quarantine to protect the local flora. I want to know what she said to customs officers? “Oh, so that’s where I left them!”
Headline possibilities abound:
Always Czech for bananas
Czech-ed for bananas
Czech slips on bananas
Czech bounced over banana
Yes, we allow no bananas
Smuggler busted with bananas under where?
When putting bananas in your underwear is outlawed, only outlaws will put bananas in their underwear (and we’ll know they’re not just glad to see us)
This is probably the greatest piece of legislation since it tried to ban Marshmallow Fluff two years ago. I know I feel better knowing that this important issue has been dealt with. I can only hope that the Senate and the governor understand the urgency of the threat poised by a company THAT DOESN’T EVEN OPERATE IN THE STATE. I hope the US government and the UN will also act as this is a international issue. Two months ago
we reported on the disturbing trend of Dog rental companies taking off in Tokyo! (Please ignore any comments I made about wanting to start a franchise here as a way to get more dogs in to my life. I misspoke or quoted myself out of context or something.)
I turned to an expert source for more informed opinion on this issue, my Office Manager (right). She said, and this is a verbatim quote, “Snort snuffle snort snort snuffle.”
Remember: When renting pets is outlawed only outlaws will rent pets!
California state Sen. Jack Scott doesn’t want your kids to have fun at their birthday parties! OK, so that’s not really the point of his bill to ban foil helium balloons but that sure is a better lead than he wants to prevent power outages caused when the damn things fly into power lines. There were 800 of those last year in the Golden State.
However — and I’m stealing the pun from the WSJournal here — he didn’t expect the issue to blow up in his face.
There’s an industry group for this, who knew? What’s their magazine called, The Gas Bag?
You really should read the whole story. It’s filled (and not in a puff piece sort of way — ouch) with gems like this:
Others complained that balloon-sellers were an easy mark for legislators. “To them, we’re just the balloon people. We’ve got the big noses and the floppy shoes,” said Treb Heining, a balloon artist who began his career at 15 selling balloons at Disneyland and has since created installations for the Super Bowl and the Academy Awards. “We’re the Rodney Dangerfield of the professional-events services.”
Bravo to writer Amy Kaufman and the WSJ for this. Not only does the WSJ consistently produce some of the best serious journalism there is, they also produce some of the best intentionally funny journalism.