You know you have too much money when … you spend $100 for a bottle of water

Fillico Beverly Hills is a new brand of bottled water being sold in Japan for $100 a pop … and that’s the economy class. If you get one of the “frosted glass bottles … decorated with Swarovski crystals and etched with gold paint” with a gold or silver cap, the price doubles. Fortunately the water comes from Kobe and not its namesake area.

You know you have too much money when … your pills, lollipops and dog’s MP3 player are made of gold

1. Indulge your ‘inner’ self with these 24k gold leaf capsules. Digest to increase self-worth. Price: $429
2. Swiss-based DeLafee International SARL announced today their 24 Karat Gold, totally edible, strawberry-flavored Lollipop. Price: $29
3. The JooZoo, this heart-shaped 18K gold and diamond encrusted MP3 player necklace created by Korean company Innobitz. It’s touted as being able to “enhance your pet’s physical health and relieve stress through automatic content responding to various pet behaviors.” Price: $1500 – $2000. But is it compatible with iTunes?

It’s a weird day when “Let them eat cake” starts to sound like the height of sensitivity. Y’know communism is a very bad thing, but it’s not like capitalism doesn’t make it look appealing sometimes.

You know you have too much money when … 5 new gadgets you can easily live without

1. GoDogGo — Throws tennis balls for your dog so you don’t have to.
2. Soda bottles that chill themselves.
3. Komfort Pets Carrier — a box to put Rover with a built in HVAC system.
4. Electronic cigarette — all the danger of nicotine without the tobacco.
5. A suicide bomber toy — From the creator: “We hope that the release of the Uncle Abdul figure will help to ironize the act of suicide bombing and acts of violence in general.” One hope that will not be fulfilled.

Non-stick gum, balsa Humvees, cell phones for dogs and other brilliant new products

Who says innovation is dead? Found out about all of the following this week:

• Brit scientists have developed chewing gum that isn’t so sticky. That’s a lock for winning an IgNoble Prize.
• The Army is testing a Humvee made from “a combination of fiberglass, balsa wood, foam and carbon reinforcements all held together with resin.” Wonder if SSG Big Brother Collateral Damage thinks this as all that different from what we currently have?
• Oh, that Green Lantern ring is so passe. Today’s superhero wears a blue apple ring!
• A high-tech yoga mat with built in MP3 player and speakers. Isn’t high tech exactly what yoga shouldn’t be?
• Frozen yogurt for … your dog. “Yöghund is organic frozen yogurt for dogs. Yöghund is completely organic, and made from a mixture of organic yogurt, banana, peanuts and spring water.”
• And what could be dumber than that? How about a cell phone for dear old Rover? For a mere $499 + monthly charges you can get “PetsCell, a GPS enabled cellphone designed exclusively for the canine members of the family. … [It] attaches to your dog’s collar and also has a nifty geo-fence feature which will alert you if your dog decides to wander outside his pre-defined enclosure. The PetsCell is waterproof as well, to ensure that you can get through even when Bruno’s decided to take a dip in the pool. It automatically answers your call (only from pre-programmed numbers).” Can Rover record a greeting for it?

You know you have too much money when … “Hotel chain offers massages for dogs”

Ritz-Carleton charges $130 for “basic” dog massage. “For another $220, the Ritz throws in gourmet dog biscuits, an in-room pet massage, a choice of nail buffing or nail polish, a souvenir photo, a brisk walk over Sarasota’s scenic Ringling Bridge and a gourmet meal of organic stew and designer water served on a silver tray.” That’s in addition to a $125 nonrefundable pet fee. Hope that includes a “happy ending.”How insane do you have to be to do this?