GM CEO quits. Does that count as job creation?

Fritz Henderson, the man with the 2nd least desirable job in the US*, has quit or been pushed after failing to turn around the troubled automaker in less than 6 months.

What? I don’t really know. He or an underling managed to screw up the sale of Opal, Saab, Saturn and any other part of the company vaguely attractive enough for someone to spend money on. Plus, lets face it, Fritz is not a really marketable name.

Company officials described the decision for Henderson to resign at "mutual." I have to wonder if some of that mutuality had to do with Fritz screaming, “Free at last! Free at last! God almighty I’m free at last.” as he left the office today.

It is worth noting that the people who hired Henderson did so with very real doubts. Speaking last month Steven Rattner, head of the Obama auto task force, had this piece of high praise for Henderson “He’s shown that he can manage.” In what has to be one of the least surprising opinions ever offered on the auto industry, Rattner said GM and Chrysler “were some of the worst-run companies I’ve ever seen in my life.”

 

*1 = US President

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How to get a piece of the government bailout

My latest from BlownMortgage:

At this point in the economic down-turn there’s really only one question on most of our minds: How can I become a commercial bank or an automaker?

Old friend Helen Kennedy put it succinctly in The New York Daily News: “Two more pillars of the American economy are coming to Washington hat in hand: American Express and Detroit’s Big Three. The struggling New York-based credit giant reportedly wants a $3.5 billion bailout. American Express got permission to become a bank holding company this week, making it eligible for a piece of the $700 billion bailout.”

The Federal Reserve gets to make the decision about who gets to be a bank. Since the Fed has already decided to leave us all holding the bag for bank companies, it seems only fitting that we should also get a chance at being a bank holding company as well.

Use the following checklist to see if you qualify:

• Do you need to cut borrowing costs?
• Are your main sources of funding in danger of going away?
• Do you need access to government money?
• Has your inability to get credit endangered your fiscal health?
• Would the ability to issue government-backed bonds keep you solvent?
• Are you willing to take deposits from both consumers and companies?
• Is your current role in the financial system mostly watching your investments lose money?

If you answered yes to all these questions then CONGRATULATIONS!!! You clearly meet all the essential qualifications needed to be a bank holding company.

Not sure of all that it takes to become an American car company but I do know I can fulfill one of the basic obligations: I guarantee no one will want to buy a car I build.

Is it just me or does the plan to throw more money at the car companies give new meaning to the phrase “Grand Theft Auto”?