The latest word in banana protection technology … no, that’s not a euphemism

bananaFirst there was the hard-case banana protector and now – the inflatable version. I’ve always thought bananas came pre-protected. Isn’t that what the peel is for? I’m always puzzled when I see people in the grocery store putting bananas into a plastic bag. What does that accomplish? Nor do I understand the squeamishness over a bruised banana. The bruised part is still edible, FYI. Has anyone created a coconut protector yet? There are certainly enough other fruit protectors on the market. The same company that makes this waste of plastic also makes “various designs of inflatables perfectly suited to apples, oranges and all kinds of round fruit.” ORANGES? What, pray tell, are we protecting them from?

Aussies cancel Czech’s bananas

A 56-year-old Czech woman was detained by authorities at the Sydney airport when they found she “was concealing three live banana plants in her underwear.” Like a lot of places, the Aussies have an agricultural quarantine to protect the local flora. I want to know what she said to customs officers? “Oh, so that’s where I left them!”

Headline possibilities abound:

  • Always Czech for bananas
  • Czech-ed for bananas
  • Czech slips on bananas
  • Czech bounced over banana
  • Yes, we allow no bananas
  • Smuggler busted with bananas under where?
  • When putting bananas in your underwear is outlawed, only outlaws will put bananas in their underwear (and we’ll know they’re not just glad to see us)