Ninjas — not pirates — sent to fight tourism slump

Nine ninjas have been sent to Honolulu to lure visitors from Japan. No, I am not making this up. The stealthy killers were hired by Hawaii Tourism Japan and come from Iga City, a castle town in Japan which apparently specializes in all things related to the ninja art.

Officials said it was the first time the ninja group has come to Hawai’i to promote a historically accurate depiction of a Japanese art popular in Hawai’i and worldwide. The tourism authorities emphasize that this ninja group is faithful to the ancient traditions. The black-clad specialists show off skills in swordplay, sickle work, juggling, throwing stars and even “piercing objects with flying chopsticks.”

Who knew that “piercing objects with flying chopsticks” was part of the ninjitsu tradition? Equally obscure is why Japanese would be lured to Hawaii by the chance to see something developed and practiced in their backyard. Would people from Illinois come to Hawaii for the chance to see one of their corrupt (redundant?) politicians take a bribe?

Related — and true — story: Friend of mine got a call from kindergarten her daughter was attending. Seems the teachers were concerned because the little girl kept insisting her father was a ninja. When told this issue of lying was a problem the friend replied with complete accuracy, “Her father teaches ninjitsu — what would  you call him?”

I would call him “sir” unless told otherwise.

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Headline of the Day: “He handily beat Clinton even in traditionally Democratic areas”

Subhead in today’s Honolulu Advertiser on a story about Obama winning the Hawaii caucuses.

A Democrat won in traditionally Democratic areas!?!?!? Wow. Strange times indeed.

BTW, here’s a definition of mixed blessing — having the flu in Hawaii. I tell people on the phone and they start to come across with some sympathy and then it’s  … “wait a minute … he’s in HAWAII!”

Well, I’ve had the flu a lot of places and Maui is pretty much the best place for it.