Norway honors penguin for military expertise

Nils Olav, colonel-in-chief of the Norwegian King’s Guard, was knighted today in a ceremony in Scotland. King Harald the Fifth of Norway said his fellow monarch — Col. Olav is a king penguin — is “in every way qualified to receive the honour and dignity of knighthood.” More than qualified than some others given that the list of people knighted (by the UK) includes Elton John, Rudy Guiliani, and Tom Jones. I would watch the vid to see how smartly Col. Olav reviews the troops.

While some may scoff at claims of Olav’s military brilliance and see his rank as some rank PR stunt, I say otherwise. Want proof? Name another foreign military officer who has been kept behind bars for 20 years. They may call it a “zoo” but hey so’s Guantanamo. I sense a PETA protest.

For his fine sense of irony, we’d like to honor King Harald. Therefore he is now:

PS — an old joke: What’s the difference between the Army and the Cub Scouts? The Cub Scouts have adult leadership.

Yeah, but do they have penguins?

Headline of the Day: “Japan’s baseball stadiums urged to drop octopus”

Won’t the octopi get hurt?

TOKYO (AFP) – Animal rights activists on Tuesday urged Japanese baseball stadiums to give up their usual fare of hot dogs and fried octopus balls and go vegetarian to fight global warming. Japan’s baseball commissioners announced as the season opened last week that the national pastime would take action to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, in particular by speeding up games. But People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) said it would be more effective for concession stands to serve exclusively vegetarian fare.

When will PETA start speaking up on behalf of the endangered Tofu?

I would like to commend the Japanese baseball league for making game lengths an environmental issue. I hope MLB follows suit. Anything to speed the games up.

9:29 AM — Manny puts Sox ahead 6-4 in the 10th. They should play more games with a 13 hour time difference. I like watching baseball over breakfast.

CWAnd speaking of Japan & cephalapods: Got to watch the Japanese movie Calamari Wrestler last weekend. BRILLIANT! Plot: A dying pro-wrestler is cured by monks. Only drawback: cure turns him into a squid. He resumes his life as a pro-wrestler. Also resumes his relationship with his girlfriend. There are so many hysterical scenes it is hard to pick a favorite but I especially loved the one where the happy couple are skipping down the street hand-in-tentacle. It has special effects on a par with early Dr. Who and a truly wonderful campy humor. The Times quote on the box sums it up perfectly: “A cross between The Muppets and Godzilla.” Which is also a great idea for the next Muppets movie.