Ill gov. arrested for trying to blackmail a newspaper

Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich (pronounced: U-r-kid-ing-me) and his chief of staff have been arrested  for trying to shake down various people and institutions. While the lead in the news is how it is related to naming a successor to our president-elect, what really got me is this:

According to a federal criminal complaint, Blagojevich also was charged with illegally threatening to withhold state assistance to Tribune Co., the owner of the Chicago Tribune, in the sale of Wrigley Field. In return for state assistance, Blagojevich allegedly wanted members of the paper’s editorial board who had been critical of him fired.

OK, so the risk for an elected official doing this sort of thing is what will happen if the press finds out about it. Don’t really have to worry about that “if” in this case, do you Rod?

As someone who grew up in Chicago and then Rhode Island (Motto: We’re not as corrupt as Louisiana but we’re trying), I am curious to know if there is a corruption index for government in the US?

UPDATE: The interwebs is democratizing satire: For bid on eBay: 1 Ill. Senate seat, slightly worn

ANOTHER UPDATE: TOTALLY BIASED LIST OF MOST CORRUPT STATES: Louisiana is the most corrupt state in the nation. That’s according to an analysis of government data released today by Corporate Crime Reporter. Louisiana (1), Mississippi (2), Kentucky (3), Alabama (4) and Ohio (5) are the top five most corrupt states in the country, according to the analysis. Rounding out the top ten are Illinois (6), Pennsylvania (7), Florida (8), New Jersey (9), and New York (10). Corporate Crime Reporter looked at the 35 most populous states in the nation. (The fifteen states with population of under two million were not included in the analysis.)

No list that doesn’t have Rhode Island in the top 5 is worth its palm grease.

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SHOCKER: Survey sez recession adding stress to holidays

CNN, doing it’s part to keep pollsters employed now that the election is over.

Americans say the sagging economy is making the 2008 holiday season more stressful than previous years, according to a CNN poll out Monday, with up to two-thirds of them reporting some belt-tightening.

Next up: Most Americans say water IS wet!

Car dealer allegedly apologizes for ad that insults all non-Christians

Here’s the actual text of the radio spot for Kieffe and Sons Ford of Kern County, California.

Did you know that there are people in this country who want prayer out of schools, “Under God” out of the Pledge, and “In God We Trust” to be taken off our money?

But did you know that 86 percent of Americans say they believe in God? Now, since we all know that 86 out of every 100 of us are Christians who believe in God, we at Kieffe and Sons Ford wonder why we don’t just tell the other 14 percent to sit down and shut up.

I guess maybe I just offended 14 percent of the people who are listening to this message. Well, if that is the case, then I say that’s tough; this is America, folks — it’s called free speech. And none of us at Kieffe and Sons Ford are afraid to speak up. Kieffe and Sons Ford on Sierra Highway in Mojave and Rosamond: if we don’t see you today, by the grace of God, we’ll be here tomorrow.

OK, so now we know he’s bigoted, a bad businessman and can’t do research. Apparently every American who believes in God is a Christian. Good, pardon the phrase, Lord.

The apology is every bit as stupid as the ad.

“It’s just something that went by us,” said Rick Kieffe, who does not attend church but considers himself “a Christian spirit.” “We’re obviously sorry that it offends a given segment who identifies themselves as atheist.”

Oh, Rick, if you’d only insulted the atheists you’d be far better off. I am sure all the churches in Kern County are grateful that Rick doesn’t actually attend any of them — although he might want to start.

However this does give me enough of a thematic link to mention my latest post at The Ministry of Culture which explains why Julie Andrews + John Coltrane = God.

When serving food to fat people is outlawed, only outlaws will be fat UPDATED

Mississippi legislators are considering a bill that would make it illegal for restaurants to serve food to fat people. Any restaurant found guilty of giving food to someone defined by the state department of health as obese risks losing its license.

No word on whether their will be exemptions if you are “big boned” or have “a thyroid condition.”

I want the state to issue Body Mass Index calipers for waiters to use before taking someone’s order. I also want a bill that bans idiots from proposing laws.

UPDATE: Turns out that this bill would cause fiscal chaos in M eye double S eye double S eye double P eye.

Preventing obesity and smoking can save lives, but it doesn’t save money, researchers reported Monday. It costs more to care for healthy people who live years longer, according to a Dutch study that counters the common perception that preventing obesity would save governments millions of dollars.

One wonders why the state is not already awash in saved dollars.

Press release of the day: “Computer *Retards* Make Money With Breakthrough Home Business Marketing System”

Frustrated and humiliated Home Business owners who are sick and tired of chasing their tail, trying to find customers, getting hung up on, and being rejected in a desperate effort to earn a buck, are discovering a newer and easier way to market. Instead, using a revolutionary marketing system that combines psychology, technology, and the very latest changes in buyer behaviour, these entrepreneurs are now simply flipping a switch and collecting prospects, customers, and profits automatically.

Because nothing says use my service like a gratuitous insult of the less advantaged.

(And 2008 is already off to a great start!)