Firm launches Lolita brand of beds for young girls … hilarity ensues

The Woolworths chain of retail stores in Britain has withdrawn the sale of beds named Lolita and designed for six-year-old girls after furious parents pointed out that the name was synonymous with sexually active pre-teens.

“Lolita, light of my life, home of my thread count. My Simmons, my Sealy, my Serta. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the Tempurpedic. Lo. Lee. Ta.”

This is what happens when you cut funding to education.