Email service lets you taunt friends after The Rapture

MEDIA ADVISORY, May 26 /Christian Newswire/ — A new “after the Rapture” email service has been launched. Unlike other post-Rapture mailing services, the You’ve Been Left Behind website allows the customer to edit all documents and addresses at any time. This online site is run and programmed by Christians. It employs a “dead man’s switch” to automatically send the Emails after the Rapture of the Church has taken place. Multiple safeguards have been put into place to prevent premature sending of stored documents.

“Unlike other post-Rapture mailing services“??? I did not know this was such a competitive market.

Well, the site itself doesn’t think of it as taunting, but it’s hard for me to come up with another rationale for it.

You’ve Been Left Behind gives you one last opportunity to reach your lost family and friends For Christ. Imagine being in the presence of the Lord and hearing all of heaven rejoice over the salvation of your loved ones. It is our prayer that this site makes it happen.

As long as I’m quoting others, let’s add the thoughts of RawFeed who said about all you need to say:

The service costs $40 per year (aren’t they afraid of going to hell for charging rates like that?), so if the Rapture happens in 25 years it’ll cost you about $1,000 to send your “I told you so” message. Hopefully as the Judgement is coming, all the sinners will go check their e-mail. Also: In addition to doomed sinners, Muslims, Jews and other unfortunates, can’t you send e-mail to Christians who go to heaven? Won’t they have mobile devices and really fast mobile broadband? If not, what kind of heaven is that?

As Sam Knox once said to me when I told him I thought I’d seen God (yeah, it was one of those nights): “Look busy.”