When tag is outlawed, only outlaws will play tag

ATTLEBORO, Mass. – Tag, you’re out! Officials at an elementary school south of Boston have banned kids from playing tag, touch football and any other unsupervised chase game during recess for fear they’ll get hurt and hold the school liable.

Great, we’ll protect the kids from tag but not not from Mark Foley…

4 thoughts on “When tag is outlawed, only outlaws will play tag

  1. Maybe they’re afraid there exist wacko parents who would sue and a wacko jury that would find them liable? Not so crazy a worry really.

    Can you imagine the permission slips?

    Dear Johnny or Susie’s parent,

    Because of recent trends in American civil law, we’ve decided that we must seek your permission to allow your son or daughter “play” while in our care. Specifically, we think you should be aware that any or all of these hazards may be present on any day:

    1) Sunshine: As you know, UV exposure from the sun has been linked to skin cancer later in life.
    2) Inhalent hazards: As our school is near a major truck route, exposure to hydrocarbon based pollutants is a real possibility.
    3) Abrasive injury: It has been called to our attention that the products used to provide a durable finish to our “play” ground could, if contacted with some speed with a horizontal component of velocity, cause skin to be dislocated and blood to emerge in its place.
    4) Emotional distress: From time to time, one of the children in our care has less then ideal socialization skills. This could result in this child injuring the feelings of one of their peers. Further, when participants in games of skilled are selected, your child may suffer from feelings of isolation, for which we cannot be held responsible.
    5) Financial hardship: We have noted that, from time to time, children leave the “play” ground with less money on hand then when they arrived.

    By no means do we suggest this is a complete list of the risks associated with “play” time. Certainly you must understand that, in view of these and other hazards, we must have your permission for your son or daughter to participate.

    Please sign and notarize this form and return the white, blue, pink, yellow and stripped copied to this office. You may keep the green copy for your records.


    Your concerned school staff

  2. you know, my son has difficulty reading and in fact his struggle to read in school has severely effected his self esteem (no joke). Why don’t they outlaw reading? Why should he continue to be sunjected to the knowledge that he isn’t good at something? I would like there to be a subject called “talking smack” because he really does excell at that and I think it would not only boost his self esteem but also improve his attitude toward school.

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