So there’s another euphemism for getting drunk. When that guy does a few shots … he really does a few shots! (Rim shot, please…) OK, so the man is going to be armed, imbibed, already in a bad mood over whatever goes wrong in Iraq tomorrow and facing a likely major loss at the polls — are you brave enough to get in the duck blind with him? Oh, and yes, this is the first time since his last shooting incident that the Veep has directly taken up arms against a living thing. Put the Spinmeisters on high alert. Congrats to some Colorado Pro-Pot group for putting down the oreos long enough to come up with the above ad.
On Monday, a Home Depot in Chicopee, Mass., sold a bathroom cabinet containing 40 pounds of marijuana and of cocaine. The giant retailer denied any knowledge of the drugs (more of which were found in two other Bay State sources). Police, however, remain skeptical. "They sold $200,000 worth of drugs for $175," said Det. Frank Drebin. "And that's right in keeping with their promise of providing the most value for your dollar."
Analysts said this was likely more of a test run than Home Depot's long-rumored move into Big Pharma. "I really think this is a one off," said Ed Hocken of the investment firm Norberg & Olsen. "They have yet to secure a major supplier. The Cali Cartel has made it very clear they to continue to distribute through Wal-Mart, which appeals to a much broader demographic."
- Headline of the (Easter Sun) Day: Episcopal Churches Turn to U2 to Pack Pews. And you thought Bono had an ego problem before…
- All time greatest name in marketing: Velvet Gogol Bennett of Procter & Gamble. How Ms. Gogol Bennett avoided a life as a performance artist is unknown.
- "A federal judge gave a ninth-grader permission Thursday to recite a poem at a state competition that his school objected to, claiming it contained profanity." No, no. Not the one about the person from Nantucket, that would have made sense. The poem: Auden's The More Loving One. The words in question: Hell and Damn. The jurisdiction in which this took place: Reno, land of heretofore unexpected moral probity.
- Scariest phrase of the day: litigation boutique as in "Simon Lesser PC, founded in 1997, is a litigation boutique centrally located in Midtown Manhattan." Be afraid, be very very afraid.
- When “Kinder Chocolate Eggs” are outlawed, only outlaws will have “Kinder Chocolate Eggs”
- When Chronic Candy is outlawed, only outlaws will have Chronic Candy: "Marijuana-flavored lollipops, gum balls and chocolates with names such as Hydro and Sticky Icky Buds could be banned in Alameda County under an ordinance being considered by the Board of Supervisors." Already banned in Chicago and Suffolk County, N.Y., and facing a possible ban in Georgia. Why haven't we heard from Reno on this one?
Federal drug raids in California netted a number of pot-laced candy and soft drinks with some great brand names. Quoth AFP: “Confiscated items reportedly bore labels including Stoney Ranchers, Munchy Way, Rasta Reece’s, Buddafingers, Pot Tarts, Double Puff Oreo, Keef Kat, Twixed, Budtella, Puff-A-Mint Pattie, Puffsi, Bong’s Root Beer, and Toka-Cola.”
So in addition to the drug charges, they suspects can expect a bunch of copyright infringement cases as well.
“In a way, this case sort of answers the question ‘What will they think of next?’,” said Javier Pena, a special agent with the Drug Enforcement Administration. If history is any guide, I would expect to see diet and low-fat versions.